What’s in a Kink? You’ll Be Happy to Know, We’ve Got the Best Answers!
A kink refers to the ‘non-conventional’ practices that a person takes part in or fantasizes about. As you likely already know, Between Our Thighs posts a weekly Fetish Friday article, highlighting a different fetish or kink each week, to educate our readers and help make the world become more sex-positive.
Today, we’ll be sharing a one-stop-shop, so to speak, of all the kinks we’ve talked about since first launching our blog until the date of this publication. We’ve listed each in alphabetical order, for your ease of reference. If the kink you’re looking for isn’t here, we may have featured it in a separate post outside of this roundup (you can look it up by searching here). If we haven’t yet talked about it, let us know in the comments below and we can feature it in the future!
Anal sex: Anal sex is the act of inserting a penis or sex toy (for example, a strap-on) into the anus. Anal play, on the other hand, involves any stimulation of the area. This may include fingering, licking, or any foreplay that does not necessarily involve penetration of any kind.
BDSM: An acronym for three groups — bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism — BDSM goes beyond what you read about in Fifty Shades of Grey. Bondage and discipline refer to physically restraining your partner while inflicting punishment or pain, or causing humiliation. Dominance and submission constitute one person being in control of a compliant partner, who does and says whatever they are told (in the form of behaviours, rituals, and customs). Lastly, sadism and masochism refer to the pleasures initiated by pain, with the former describing the joy of inflicting suffering and the latter describing relishing in experiencing the pain itself.
Though someone into this kink can enjoy all three groupings, it doesn’t mean that they are necessarily into each one. As well, there are varying degrees of intensity to take into consideration.
Body modification: In terms of kink, body modification (or body alteration) is the purposeful altering of the human body to change one's appearance and body image. While typically done for aesthetic reasons, it may also be for sexual enhancement, religious reasons (for example, circumcision), a rite of passage, and so forth.
Consensual non-consent: Consensual non-consent (CNC) is a part of BDSM, whereby one or more people will give consent to not consenting to their sexual partner. Today, we’re exploring it in terms of rape play, or simulated sexual assault and rape. This can be a random scenario (for example, a house break-in) where a victim is attacked or acting out an abusive relationship where one partner is forced into having sex.
Cuckolding: Traditionally, cuckolding refers to the husband of a married woman who has been unfaithful. When she has had sex with someone else (often called the ‘bull’), the infidelity leaves her partner cuckolded by her lover. In terms of fetishism, it refers to a man who gets turned on when watching his wife have sex with other men. Interestingly, the word derives from the Old French cucault, referring to the now-extinct cuckoo bird, which was known to lay its eggs in other birds’ nests.
Dollification: Dollification is a type of role-playing that refers to a person transforming into a human doll through makeup or doll-like masks, accompanied by a shift in their mannerisms. Once they have completed this process, they are referred to as being “dollified.” This is done for sexual arousal for themselves, their sexual partner(s), or both. Typically, dollified folks take on a submissive role in their sexual interactions, as their Dominant partner plays with and enjoys them.
Electrosex (electrical play): Also referred to as erotic electrostimulation or electrosex, electrical play involves using electricity to stimulate the body’s nerves and elicit a sexual response. Most often, these are nerves connected to the erogenous zones in the genitals or nipples. In BDSM, a Dominant will hook up the electrical device to their submissive and begin administering low frequency ‘zaps’ that can then be increased in intensity. It depends on what has been agreed upon and consented to!
Erotic humiliation: Erotic psychological humiliation can take three forms. First, is when a person becomes sexually aroused or excited when they embarrass, shame, or completely belittle another person (or people). Second, when someone gets off being on the receiving end of said humiliation. The third option is when people are aroused by watching it happen between other people, either in-person or on a video (such as pornography or a live stream).
Exhibitionism: An exhibitionist thrives when all attention is on them due to their behaviour(s). However, exhibitionism paraphilia (as a sexual kink) refers to the compulsion or desire to publicly display one’s genitals. In some cases, this could include having sex openly while others — strangers or otherwise — look on.
Fire play: Fire play is, literally, playing with fire as a subculture of BDSM. There are varying degrees of fire play, many of which involve setting fire against the skin in different ways. This can be an extremely dangerous practice and should only be done by those with experience.
Fisting: Fisting is the act of someone inserting a hand in its entirety into their sexual partner’s vagina or anus. While it can seem quite intense — and even impossible — to some people, it’s doable for most people with adequate stimulation and arousal, patience, and a great deal of communication between both parties involved. This is particularly relevant when it is the anus that will be fisted or fist-fucked!
Food play (mukbangs): We’ve got a few definitions to explain today! First, food play is the act of bringing edible items into your sexual routine, which can often serve as a way to heighten the senses and arousal both during foreplay and during sex itself. A mukbang fetish is an online broadcast where one or more people eat a massive quantity of food while interacting with a live audience.
There is also a feeder and eater dynamic. One or both parties become aroused by one person feeding the other to make a skinny person overweight or an already overweight person even fatter.
Gagging: In the context of BDSM, a gag is used as a part of sexual bondage on a submissive partner for anything from (consensually) silencing them during sexual play, as punishment or humiliation, to up levels of anxiety or submission, or even to gain erotic pleasure from the general experience. Often, a ball gag is used (pictured at the beginning of this article), filling the mouth while being strapped in place onto the wearer’s head
Golden showers: Golden showers — also commonly referred to as ‘water sports’ or ‘piss play’ — describes erotic play involving urine. This is associated with urophilia, when someone is aroused by either the sight or thought of themselves or another person urinating. This can be either experiencing the physical sensations (for example, being urinated on), the smell of the urine, or simply watching another person relieve themselves in a sexually-charged situation. The attraction to urine is a fetish, while the enjoyment of urinating is a kink.
Hotwifing: Put simply, a hotwife is a married woman who pursues sexual relationships with multiple people other than her husband. Arguably, the term can be used for anyone who identifies as a woman in a polyamorous relationship with her partner, regardless of their gender identity. Either way, the married partner has full knowledge of their wife’s sexual pursuits and gives their full consent to it.
Knife play: A form of BDSM edgeplay, knife play involves using knives or other blades (for example, swords or daggers) for physical, mental, and overall sensual stimulation. In addition to being used to cut away clothes or run gently along the skin, folks may opt to use the blades for light scratches or cutting, not necessarily drawing blood from their sexual partner or themselves.
Menstruation (period sex): Period sex is exactly what it sounds like — the desire to have sex while someone is on their period. While it’s a common occurrence for many sexually active couples where one or both partners are menstruating, for some folks, sex while a uterus owner is on their period is actually the source of arousal. The proper terms used to describe this fetish are ‘hematolagnia’ (when referring to blood in general) or ‘menophilia’ (referring specifically to menstrual blood). Depending on the person, this could also be a fetish, as opposed to a kink.
Paraphilic Infantilism and Age Play: Paraphilic infantilism describes the desire of being a baby, where diaperism (often associated with the former) refers to a specific fetish for wearing diapers. However, someone who experiences infantilism does not necessarily have diaperism, too. This rare sexual paraphilia typically manifests in the form of role-playing, whereby one partner dresses up as a child and the other acts as their parent or caregiver. This can be on occasion, in some cases, or a way of life adopted by couples full-time.
Pegging: A sexual practice where someone with a vagina wears a strap-on dildo to penetrate their partner anally or vaginally. Typically, though not always, this is a heterosexual male-identifying partner; the person getting pegged — that is, the individual on the receiving end — can have a vagina or penis. In some cases, the person penetrating may hold a hand-held dildo or vibrator instead of wearing a harness with a strap-on attached.
Pet play: Pet play is a sub-culture of BDSM, where one (or more) Dominants act as a pet owner, while one (or more) submissives act like a pet. The person in the submissive animal role acts like a non-human creature — typically a dog or cat — and can engage in any activity a pet would generally do. This includes playing fetch, walking on all fours with a leash, and even defecating or urinating outdoors.
Role-playing: Role-playing involves acting out various sex scenarios with your partner while one or both of you are in character. As with most kinks, there are varying degrees of it, from playfully dressing up and remaining ‘as yourselves,’ to fully immersing yourself in a storyline and staying in character.
This is a great way to liven things up between you and your partner in the bedroom without going to any extremes.
Scat play: Scat play refers to any sexual activity that incorporates scat or feces (poop). Often, this involves defecating on a sexual partner or getting pooped on for the purpose of sexual pleasure and gratification. scat play Folks who fantasize about and take pleasure in scat play have what is called “coprophilia” and can sometimes be referred to as “scatophiliacs.” The attraction to faces is a fetish, while the enjoyment of defecation is a kink.
Sensation play: A type of erotic play involving the engagement of one’s sensory and physical sensations, sensation play can range from light to painful. While a person can enjoy this kink with items found around the house, plenty of toys can be purchased specifically for sensation play. Some examples include — but are certainly not limited to — leather whips, floggers, spiked Wartenberg wheels, massage oil candles, blindfolds, audio erotica, and flavoured condoms.
Sounding: Urethral sounding, also called ‘cock stuffing’ when referring to folks with penises, refers to the insertion of an object into the urethra (the tube that expels urine from the body) for sexual pleasure. As everyone has a urethra, anyone can participate in sounding.
This is rooted in medical terminology, where sounding refers to the insertion of probes — called ‘sounds’ — used to dilate the urethra to locate any obstructions that may be lodged there. A sound may also be used to open up the urethra on folks with penises receiving a genital piercing.
Temperature play: Temperature play ties into BDSM sensual and sensation play, where the use of hot and cold substances or objects are used to stimulate the body’s neuroreceptors. Achieved both solo or with a partner, while this technique is often used in BDSM practices, it is not exclusive to it. In fact, ‘light’ temperature play can be enjoyed by even the most vanilla of people, alone or as foreplay!
Threesomes: A threesome — also known as a threeway — is when three people have sex or engage in sexual activities together. This can be anything from penetrative sex to masturbation (manually or with a sex toy), though it typically involves the former.
Vacuum bondage: Vacuum bondage is a form of BDSM whereby a person lies down inside a latex bed made explicitly for bondage. With the latex covering their bodies entirely, both above and below them (often covering the head entire, save for a small breathing hole around the mouth), they can then be vacuumed inside by a partner to keep them firmly in place. Often, this is held in place by a frame, but in some cases, it’s more bag-like in appearance. For a mental visual, think of Star Wars’ Han Solo trapped in carbonite.
Voyeurism: Voyeurism is the desire to watch people engaging in intimate behaviours, though not necessarily only having sexual intercourse. It can involve watching people undress, masturbate, or other activities typically intended to be private and conducted behind closed doors. You’ve likely heard of the label “peeping Tom,” which is used to describe someone who enjoys such sexual pleasures, typically without consent.
Wax play: Practiced in the context of BDSM, wax play describes a type of temperature play, where melted wax is dripped — not poured —over a partner’s skin. The sex partner dripping the wax is the person in power, and while it’s a tool used in sadist and masochist roles, more vanilla couples can incorporate wax play, too! It’s an excellent method to take your routine out of the ordinary, as well as a perfect way to experiment with feeling pleasure from pain.
Are you interested in any of these kinks? What are some additional kinks you’d like us to delve into on future posts? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below.
