Fetish Friday: Wax Play
‘Fetish’ describes the object of a person’s sexual fantasies (a living being or inanimate object), while ‘kink’ is used to define the ‘non-conventional’ practices that one takes part in or sexually fantasizes about. When considering the connotations of either word, both are typically seen as diverging from mainstream societal norms.
In recent years, we have fortunately seen the world become increasingly sex-positive. Consequently, many fetishes and kinks are considered more ‘mainstream’ for discussion. Yet, not every fetish (or fetishes) that a person has is understood by the general population. This is partly due to many subcultures that can branch from a single fetish or kink, leaving outsiders uncertain of what it entails.
To help remove misperceptions and uncertainties on the topic, we’ve decided to discuss the subject of wax play, including how one can incorporate melted wax into their acts of temperature play. We hope that it will offer a better idea of what it’s like to experience this kink and what someone who takes part in it is into.
What is wax play?
Practiced in the context of BDSM, wax play describes a type of temperature play, where melted wax is dripped — not poured —over a partner’s skin. The sex partner dripping the wax is the person in power, and while it’s a tool used in sadist and masochist roles, more vanilla couples can incorporate wax play, too! It’s an excellent method to take your routine out of the ordinary, as well as a perfect way to experiment with feeling pleasure from pain.
Common misconceptions
As we hinted at above, wax play should never have the person in the power position pouring the melted wax on their partner’s skin, as it can cause severe burns (more on that in a bit). That said, the intention of wax play is not to harm one another, but rather, to experience small amounts of temporary pain to gain sexual pleasure.
How to talk about it with your partner
Whether you wish to be on the giving or receiving end of this act of BDSM, talking to your partner about your kinks and fetishes is paramount. If neither of you has tried this in the past, do a bit of research before bringing the suggestion to the table; you both want to be as informed as possible before making a concrete decision. It also helps to look up information together and talk things through thoroughly before beginning.
Things to try
Whether at home, in a sex dungeon, or anywhere, for that matter, temperature play with melted wax can be a lot of fun. Try experimenting with dripping wax on various body parts, as we experience sensations differently in different areas. You can even drop small circles along the back and, once they’ve cooled, connect the dots in long lines. Consider playing with other feelings — tickling with fabrics, using a vibrator, or even trailing an ice cube on the skin for contrast in temperature!
Are there risks to consider?
First things first: like any aspect of BDSM, it’s a good idea to have a safe word in place for you and your partner. If something needs to stop or be altered, simply say the safe word, and all sexual play should cease immediately until all parties have consented to resume.
Keeping this in mind, take precautionary measures by only using candles made of 100% soy wax or paraffin (or find candles specifically designed for wax play, such as massage oil candles). Avoid dripping wax near the face or hair and apply lotion to the skin beforehand to remove the dried wax easier.
Because fire is being used to light the candle and melt the wax, be sure that an extinguisher or water source is on-hand. Having a first-aid kit nearby is also wise, in case there is an accidental burn.
How can I learn more?
The internet is your oyster! While typical sources of information include chat rooms and online threads, you can also check out companies that sell massage oil candles made specifically for wax play, as they often provide free resources for folks looking to experiment.
If you know of anyone who has tried it out before, reach out to them (if you feel comfortable) and ask if they would be willing to chat about their experiences.
Now that you have read this, we hope you have a deeper understanding of what it means to use melted wax as a part of temperature play, including how you can safely practise it yourself. The next time the topic comes up in conversation, we hope you will feel comfortable speaking about it. Whether it’s learning more about the kink from someone who experiences it first-hand or educating someone who may be closed off to the idea, we feel that we have done our job to help make the world a more sexually inclusive place.
Would you be into having melted wax poured sensually on your body? How do you feel about temperature play (whether hot or cold), in general? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below.
