Fetish Friday: Temperature Play
‘Kink’ describes any socially deemed ‘non-conventional’ practises that a person takes part in or the fantasies they have. The word ‘fetish’ refers to the object of their sexual fantasies, whether a living being or an inanimate object. When looking at both definitions, they are often perceived as off-limits from the perspective of prescribed societal norms.
Thankfully, the world has become increasingly sex-positive, resulting in many fetishes and kinks to be considered ‘normal.’ However, not every fetish (or fetishes) that a person has is understood, possibly due to varying subcultures often branching from a single fetish or kink. This can leave outsiders uncertain of what it entails.
Today, we’re talking about temperature play to help you reject any misperceptions and uncertainties surrounding the topic. We hope it will give you a better idea of what it’s like to experience this kink, and what someone who takes part in it is into.
What is temperature play?
Temperature play ties into BDSM sensual and sensation play, where the use of hot and cold substances or objects are used to stimulate the body’s neuroreceptors. Achieved both solo or with a partner, while this technique is often used in BDSM practices, it is not exclusive to it. In fact, ‘light’ temperature play can be enjoyed by even the most vanilla of people, alone or as foreplay!
Common misconceptions
While we mentioned above that sensation play isn’t only used in BDSM practices, there are other common misconceptions surrounding temperature play. For one, extreme temperatures aren’t always used; for example, someone may opt for fire play, or they may choose running a warm spoon over their skin.
That said, it’s not always a dangerous practice! While some things require extra attention and preparation, many techniques are simple and safe to do alone or with a partner.
How to talk about it with your partner
Wondering how to talk to your partner about trying out this kink? Explain to them what temperature play is and delve into the particular acts you’re most hoping to experiment with. Be open to their questions and suggestions, including their limits; come up with a safe word if they change their mind. Ultimately, remember that consent is vital in every sexual situation, meaning that they must give an enthusiastic “yes” before you proceed!
Things to try
For heat-related practices, we recommend trying out BDSM wax play (dripping wax along the skin or using it as massage oil), inserting a glass or porcelain dildo heated in warm water, and pouring melted chocolate on the body. For colder stimulation, try ice play (running an ice cube along the skin), inserting a glass or porcelain dildo cooled in ice water, and caressing the body with refrigerated fruits. For extra fun, play with a combination of hot and cold elements!
Are there risks to consider?
If incorporating extreme temperatures as part of your sensation play, it’s essential to be wary of the risks. When the body becomes overheated or overcooled, potentially inducing hypo- or hyperthermia, it can be detrimental to your health. As well, burns and skin damage can occur when using objects or substances that are not body-safe, such as paraffin wax, fire, dry ice, and hot oil, to name just a few.
How can I learn more?
Temperature play can involve many different practices, both for enjoying the heat or the cold. To help you decide which elements you’d like to practise — or even to get clear on what each entails — we recommend talking to other folks who participate in these types of sensation play. Online forums and threads or in-person at local meetups and sex clubs are a great start! There are also plenty of informational websites (like ours) that discuss kink.
We hope you now have a greater understanding of what temperature play is and what this kink involves. That includes having a greater understanding of how to enjoy sensation play by taking part in such things as BDSM wax play or ice play.
Should the topic come up in the future, we hope that you will feel more open to speaking about it both confidently and knowledgeably. Whether open to further understanding the kink from someone who engages in it themselves or educating someone who may be closed off to the idea, we feel that we have done our job to help make the world a more sexually inclusive place.
What do you think about incorporating BDSM wax play or ice play into your overall sensation play? If you’ve tried temperature play in the past, would you do so again? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below.
