Fetish Friday: Cuckolding
While kinks are ‘non-conventional’ practises that a person takes part in (or fantasies that they have), a fetish defines the actual object of their sexual fantasies (either a living being or an inanimate object). When considering both of these definitions, they are, unfortunately, typically viewed as taboo from a societal viewpoint.
Luckily, the world has become increasingly sex-positive, and as a result, many fetishes and kinks have been ‘normalized.’ However, not every fetish (or fetishes) that a person has is always understood. This is partly due to varying subcultures that often branch from a single fetish or kink; they can leave outsiders uncertain of what it actually entails.
Today, we are exploring the topic of cuckolding to help eliminate misperceptions and uncertainties surrounding the subject. Hopefully, this will help you to understand better what it's like to experience this fetish and what someone who takes part in it is into.
What is cuckolding?
Traditionally, cuckolding refers to the husband of a married woman who has been unfaithful. When she has had sex with someone else (often called the ‘bull’), the infidelity leaves her partner cuckolded by her lover. In terms of fetishism, it refers to a man who gets turned on when watching his wife have sex with other men.
Interestingly, the word derives from the Old French cucault, referring to the now-extinct cuckoo bird, which was known to lay its eggs in other birds’ nests.
Common misconceptions
Myth: Cuckolding ruins marriages.
The truth: This fetish can strengthen a relationship, as it allows a married woman to experience a new lover safely with the consent (and enjoyment) of her partner.
Myth: The cuckold never enjoys it.
The truth: Actually, cuckolding is for the benefit of the ‘cheated on’ husband, too! The fetish involves all parties being turned on by the situation of infidelity.
Myth: Cuckolding results from a lack of communication.
The truth: As with any fetish or kink, when acted on correctly, everyone involved clearly understands what will take place as well as know everyone’s boundaries and (if decided) safe word.
How to talk about it with your partner
When speaking about cuckolding to your partner, be clear about what interests you most about the fetish and how you would like it to, ideally, occur. Be sure to let your partner know if your cuckolding fetish crosses into additional fetishes or kinks. For example, a married woman and her lover mocking the size of her husband’s penis in front of him (humiliation) or withholding sex from her husband as punishment (a form of BDSM).
Regardless of what you are interested in, be sure to get the consent of everyone who will be involved before moving forward.
Things to try
If you or your partner are worried about whether or not you’re ready to jump straight into intercourse with a third party, consider taking things slowly at first. You could begin by going to a bar or club, where the cuckolded individual can watch their partner (typically a married woman) make out with a stranger. When this becomes comfortable for everyone, you can move into more steamy situations, eventually inviting someone back to your place — or a rented hotel room — to watch the two have sex.
Are there risks to consider?
Like any sexual encounter between consenting adults, every party involved must be aware of the possibility of spreading or contracting sexually transmitted infections (STIs). This is especially important when bringing new sexual partners, as it increases the risk for both people in the long-term relationship. In heterosexual pairings, there is also the risk of pregnancy (if that is a concern to anyone involved). Make sure that you practise safe sex by using protection and exploring all of your birth control options.
How can I learn more?
With so many resources at your fingertips, it’s easy to learn more about cuckolding. Peruse blogs and forums (including this Reddit thread) to gain inspiration for incorporating cuckolding into your and your partner’s sex life. For those just starting to test the waters, it’s an excellent way to see how other people handle the situations, including the potentially negative impacts that you should prepare yourself for (for example, making sure you pick the right ‘bull’).
After reading this, we hope that you now have a deeper understanding of what cuckolding is. The next time the topic comes up in conversation, we hope that you will feel more confident in being open to speaking about it, including the frank discussion of the downfalls and benefits of infidelity with a married woman (or, more generally, having sex with someone else). Whether it’s learning more about the fetish from someone who enjoys it first-hand or educating another person closed off to the idea of what it entails, we feel that we have done our job making the world a more sexually inclusive place.
Have you been cuckolded before? Have you had sex with someone else to cuckold your partner? Is infidelity something that turns you on? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below.
