10 Questions to Ask Before Marriage (Part Two)
As you reflect on the important conversation starters that should be had with your future spouse — including the questions to ask yourself before marriage — it may be challenging to decide what is imperative to talk about and what can be left alone. Though these discussions can, at times, be difficult to incite, they are necessary. Not only are you creating a firmer foundation on which to build your married life upon, but you are simultaneously fostering a deeper connection with your spouse-to-be.
To help get you started, here are ten questions to ask before marriage, to have an intimate conversation and get to know your fiancé(e) on a deeper level.
1. How often should family come to visit us (or we visit our family)?
One of the marriage questions for couples to be had well before the wedding day is how often you will be visiting family. This applies not only for visits to your home, but also how often you will make an effort to visit their houses. If this is not clear from the get-go and expectations are not met, you may find yourself having arguments about this down the line.
2. Is alone time important to you?
Not only should you ask your future spouse about their thoughts on this, but it is also one of the questions to ask yourself before marriage. The kindness of offering one another space to reflect, relax, or simply to be alone is often something that people seek out. When you’re living with someone, finding solitude can be difficult; thus, having an agreed-upon time for this can be valuable to the success of your marriage.
3. Is self-care important to you?
Not only can self-care encompass the aforementioned alone time, but it also includes exercise and stretching, regular hygiene practises, and eating healthy (to name just a few). Talk about which of these routines are critical to you, as well as ask your fiancé(e) which are important to them. Conversation starters like this are essential if you want to live your best lives, both individually and as a pair!
4. What is your family’s medical history (physical and mental health)?
When it comes to your health — both physical and mental — knowing your histories are pivotal. You should speak frankly about your family’s history with one another, as it may help in an emergency down the road. As well, should you choose to have children together, you will both be aware of the potential health issues that may arise in your kids as they grow up.
5. If we needed to relocate for work, would that be agreeable?
For many people, their career is a large part of their existence. Because of this, should your job request that they relocate, the decision may cause a strain on your relationship. After all, this is a big choice to make. Having a mutual agreement of whether or not you are willing to move, be it for your job or your spouse’s, is well worth discussing before your wedding day.
6. How will we divide household chores?
To properly run a household, many chores need to be undertaken daily, from tidying up, to washing the dishes, to doing the laundry. As most people don’t enjoy having to do these tasks, it becomes necessary to divide them in a way that is fair to both partners. Maybe it’s taking on specific chores every day, or switching things up! Either way, these are the questions to ask yourself before marriage.
7. Will financial responsibility be shared, or will one person be accountable?
Talking about your joint finances is one of the essential conversation starters for every couple. Develop a clear understanding of how you plan on saving money for your future, what items are acceptable to spend on (including budgeting), and who will have the responsibility of paying the bills. For a clear understanding of this, we recommend equal contribution to this task; this allows for both of you to have a clear idea of your shared financial situation.
8. What are the most important things that we have in common?
Some marriage questions for couples that are of the utmost importance revolve around your commonality. As a fun conversation starter, brainstorm everything from aspects of your personality to the hobbies that you enjoy, that you and your spouse-to-be have in common. In the future, should times get rough, or the stresses of everyday life begin to take their toll, pause a moment to reflect on your similarities and do something that you can both appreciate.
9. How will you ensure that we stay in love?
Of these ten questions to ask before marriage, you must prioritize this particular intimate conversation. A successful marriage is one that fosters an unwavering love between partners, that works towards resolving issues that will inevitably arise in your relationship over the years together. Ask how you can support your husband or wife emotionally. Ask what is most important to them in your upcoming union and how you can be sure to continue offering these things.
10. What can we do to inspire trust in each other?
Marriage is built on mutual love, respect, and trust. Without these elements, spouses may find themselves scrutinizing their relationship and doubting fundamental facets of their partnership. To avoid this, speak candidly with your fiancé(e) about what trust means to both you and them, and how you can work together to ensure your continued reliance on one another. These are the questions to ask yourself before marriage.
Yes, the above ten questions to ask before marriage are critical to answer. They help you to create a more secure footing on which you and your spouse will walk forward into your married life together. In doing so, it also serves to foster a more meaningful relationship with your fiancé(e).
These are important conversation starters to better understand your spouse-to-be, but they are also vital questions to ask yourself before marriage, too.
Do you agree that having an intimate conversation, reflecting on the questions listed above, is essential before getting married? Are there any additional marriage questions for couples that you would recommend? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below.
