Kinks are the ‘non-conventional’ practises a person takes part in, or fantasies that they have, while a fetish defines the object of their sexual fantasies. This could be either a living being or an inanimate object. When considering these definitions, both are typically viewed as off-limits from a societal viewpoint.

Fortunately, the world has become progressively sex-positive, and as a result, many fetishes and kinks are considered ‘normal.’ Yet, not every fetish (or fetishes) that a person has is always understood. This is due, in part, to varying subcultures that often branch from a single fetish or kink. They can leave outsiders uncertain of what it actually entails.

Today, we’ve decided to delve into the topic of voyeurism to help remove any misperceptions and uncertainties surrounding the topic. We hope that it will give you a better idea of what it’s like to experience this fetish and what someone who takes part in it is into.

What is voyeurism?

Voyeurism is the desire to watch people engaging in intimate behaviours, though not necessarily only having sexual intercourse. It can involve watching people undress, masturbate, or other activities typically intended to be private and conducted behind closed doors. You’ve likely heard of the label “peeping Tom,” which is used to describe someone who enjoys such sexual pleasures, typically without consent.

Common misconceptions

Voyeurism isn’t just a kink where someone likes to watch other people have sex through a peephole or who secretly films someone’s genitals by wearing a hidden camera on their shoe and stealthily places their foot beneath a person’s skirt. Voyeuristic tendencies do not always mean that the spying is done without the knowledge of the people being watched. Ultimately, like almost any fetish, it’s mostly done consensually. As long as this is the case, is totally acceptable! In fact, it’s quite common.

How to talk about it with your partner

Many people are interested in voyeurism — even if only trying it once — purely out of curiosity. Don’t be afraid to bring it up to your partner! If they are consenting, take things at your own pace by doing whatever you are mutually comfortable with. This may be something as simple as watching each other masturbate, placing a mirror near the bed while you have sex, watching porn together, or finding locals online or at a sex club who are willing to have you sit in and watch them have sex.

Things to try

Your best bet is to start somewhere that others want to be seen, like a sex club. Sex clubs also feature various bedroom-style spaces, where people seeking the excitement of exhibitionism can go. Usually, there are windows for spectators to peek in and watch other people have sex, giving you the voyeuristic thrill without having to worry about legal repercussions. After all, anyone engaging in public sex in the club will know what to expect, including the possibility of a ‘peeping Tom.’

Are there risks to consider?

So long as you only watch other people have sex — that is, you do not join in on the act yourself — you need not worry about the risks of STIs or pregnancy. However, voyeuristic behaviours can have legal repercussions, if they are not permissible by the subject(s) viewed.

Looking specifically at Canada, section 162 of the Criminal Code makes it clear that watching someone directly (or “by mechanical or electronic means”) is illegal if the person is unsuspecting. This holds if they “can reasonably be expected to be nude, to expose [their] genital organs or anal region or […] breasts, or to be engaged in explicit sexual activity.”

The bottom line? Consent is key.

How can I learn more?

If you’re interested in consensual voyeurism, there are plenty of resources for you to delve into. Online chat rooms and threads are perfect for finding places to watch other people have sex safely and legally. You could also find videos posted by exhibitionists wanting to be seen in what would otherwise be private situations (for example, undressing, masturbating, or having sex with a consenting partner). You may also be able to discover local exhibitionists willing to allow you to watch them in-person.

After reading this, we hope that you now have a deeper understanding of what voyeurism is, particularly that it goes beyond merely being a ‘peeping Tom.’ The next time the topic comes up in conversation, you will confidently feel more open to speaking about it. Whether it’s learning more about the fetish from someone who engages in it first-hand or educating another person who may be closed off to the idea of it, we feel that we have done our job to help make the world a more sexually inclusive place.

Have you watched other people have sex before? Is voyeuristic behaviour something that you would be willing to try? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below.

Fetish Friday: Voyeurism