While the word ‘kink’ is used to describe socially deemed ‘unorthodox’ practises a person takes part in or is into, ‘fetish’ refers to the object of their sexual fantasies. These can be living beings or inanimate objects. When looking at either definition, both are often considered off-limits in terms of prescribed societal norms.

Fortunately, the world has become increasingly sex-positive, resulting in many fetishes and kinks being ‘normalized.’ That said, not every fetish (or fetishes) that a person has is understood, possibly due to, in part, varying subcultures that can branch from a single kink or fetish. As a result, outsiders can be left feeling uncertain of what they entail.

Today, we’ll be delving into the topic of pegging (for example, with a strap-on dildo) to help eliminate your potential misperceptions and reservations on the subject. We hope that it will give you a better idea of what it’s like to have this kink and what someone who enjoys it is into.

What is pegging?

Pegging is a sexual practice where someone with a vagina wears a strap-on dildo to penetrate their partner anally or vaginally. Typically, though not always, this is a heterosexual male-identifying partner; the person getting pegged — that is, the individual on the receiving end — can have a vagina or penis. In some cases, the person penetrating may hold a hand-held dildo or vibrator instead of wearing a harness with a strap-on attached.

Common misconceptions

As noted above, anyone can enjoy being on the receiving end of pegging, regardless of their genitalia or gender identification (or lack thereof). What’s more, folks with smaller penises (including micropenises) can use a strap-on harness as well, taking advantage of a larger dildo that they can slip their genitals into.

When used between lesbian couples, enjoying the use of a strap-on does not mean that the wearer necessarily wishes that they had a penis themselves, nor that the receiver would prefer a penis-owning partner over someone with a vulva.

How to talk about it with your partner

Like any sexual practice, it’s essential to talk to your partner about your kinks and fetishes and get their full consent before engaging in any activity. In the instance of getting pegged or wanting to peg your partner, be sure to explain the process in-depth to them (if they are unaware of what it entails), answer all of their questions honestly, and determine a safe word prior to jumping in.

Things to try

Curious about how pegging can make its way into your bedroom? Consider trying the following:

Experiment with different lengths and girths of dildos
Try varying materials — silicone, glass, porcelain, and stainless steel are all great options
Switch up sex positions to see what feels best for everyone involved
If the individual getting pegged still wants to maintain the Dominant role, they can give specific guidelines for the pegging submissive to follow

Are there risks to consider?

When engaging in pegging multiple partners in one sex session, it’s crucial to prevent potential sexually transmitted infections by thoroughly cleaning the dildo between partners and using a condom over it. A latex-safe (and silicone-safe, if you’re using a silicone-based toy) lubricant should be used, too! As well, if a person with a vulva is being pegged, remember not to insert the dildo into their vagina once it has been in or around the anus. This can cause urinary tract infections to develop.

How can I learn more?

In addition to watching ethical pornography depicting pegging situations between couples or groups (a great source of ideas, in our opinion!), you can also check out plenty of great kink blogs and peruse chat rooms for discussion on the topic. Many people are willing to share their tips, tricks, and general advice. We also recommend checking out our article “The Best Sex Toys for Couples” for more information on strap-on dildos and some accessories for the person wearing the harness!

We hope that you now have a fuller understanding of what pegging is, including what is involved in this kink, and that you’ll feel more confident exploring how you can take part in it yourself.

Should the topic come up in the future, we anticipate that you will feel more open to speaking about it from a place of knowledge, free from judgement. Whether it’s feeling open to further understand the kink from someone who engages in it first-hand or educating someone who may be closed off to the idea, we feel that we have done our job to help make the world a more sexually inclusive place.

Would you ever want to try getting pegged by a strap-on dildo? If you’ve tried it before, does this sexual practice turn you on? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below.

Fetish Friday: Pegging