A fetish defines the object of one’s sexual fantasies (a living being or an inanimate object), while a sexual kink is a ‘non-conventional’ practise a person takes part in, or fantasies that they have. When looking at either of these definitions, both, typically, are considered as diverging from mainstream societal norms.

Thankfully, recent years have seen the world become progressively sex-positive, and as a result, many fetishes and sexual kinks are considered more ‘acceptable.’ Yet, not every fetish (or fetishes) that a person has is understood by the general population. This is partly due to diverse subcultures that can branch from a single fetish or kink. It can leave outsiders uncertain of what it actually entails.

To help remove any misperceptions and uncertainties, today, we’ve decided to delve into exhibitionism. We hope that it will give you a better idea of what it’s like to experience this fetish, as well as what someone who takes part in it is into.

What is an exhibitionism paraphilia?

An exhibitionist thrives when all attention is on them due to their behaviour(s). However, exhibitionism paraphilia (as a sexual kink) refers to the compulsion or desire to publicly display one’s genitals. In some cases, this could include having sex openly while others — strangers or otherwise — look on.

Common misconceptions

Though in psychiatry, exhibitionism is considered a mental condition that can be rooted in a personality disorder, sexual and emotional abuse during childhood, an interest in pedophilia, or even alcohol abuse, this is not always the case when regarding it as a kink.

While ‘flashing’ people when out in public can be one aspect of exhibitionism, it goes beyond this, as well. The desire to have sex in public places, to have one’s sexual acts filmed (such as a sex tape), and even to have your partner watch you masturbate could all fall under the umbrella of this definition.

How to talk about it with your partner

Talking to your partner about your sexual kinks and fetishes doesn’t have to be off-putting. Begin by explaining what you are interested in and how you would like to incorporate it into your sex life, should they consent to it. This includes mentioning how they would be involved, either directly or indirectly.

Should they agree, you can start with ‘baby steps,’ such as placing a mirror by your bed or stripping for each other, before working your way to things that feel a bit more extreme.

Things to try

As mentioned above, filming a sex tape [with the consent of your partner(s), should anyone else be involved] or asking your partner to watch you masturbate are two ways to incorporate exhibitionism into the bedroom. You may also want to consider:

Sending steamy nudes: pictures or videos
Live streaming yourself stripping
Going to a sex club
Having a third (or fourth, or fifth...) person come over to watch you have sex or masturbate

Are there risks to consider?

Be wary of the legal consequences of having sex in public. In section 173 of the Criminal Code of Canada, any “an indecent act in a public place in the presence of one or more persons” is unacceptable. Keep in mind that different countries have different rules, as well as varying definitions of what constitutes an “indecent act.”

For many people, there’s not as much enjoyment in being publicly naked when you’re terrified of getting caught. There’s a difference between the exhilaration of potentially being seen and straight out fear.

How can I learn more?

In addition to doing further research on exhibitionism-limiting laws in your area (thus helping you to better understand the risks associated with being naked and having sex in public), you can find tips and tricks from fellow exhibitionists in many online communities, as well as at your local sex club. At the latter, you can find a safe place to walk around in the nude, engage with on-lookers while you have sex, as well as meet new people who can share their secrets for practising exhibitionism locally.

After reading this, we hope that you now have a deeper understanding of what exhibitionism is and what it means to be an exhibitionist. The next time the topic comes up in conversation, you will, hopefully, feel encouraged to speak about it. Whether it’s learning more about the fetish from someone who experiences it first-hand or educating someone who may be closed off to the idea, we feel that we have done our job to help make the world a more sexually inclusive place.

Have you gotten naked or had sex in public before? Is being an exhibitionist something that you would be willing to try? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below.

Fetish Friday: Exhibitionism