A Guide to Butt Play and the Nitty-Gritty Details of Anal Sex
Both butt play and butt sex can be daunting to undertake with your partner, not only due to its physical aspects, but also because of how society has painted it in a negative light. In truth, with a sex-positive attitude and a better understanding of how to make it as comfortable as possible, anal sex can be incredibly enjoyable for both partners involved. In fact, thanks to the nerves and pleasurable pinpoints around the anus (like the A-spot), anal play can feel incredible for anyone.
To make this as satisfying an experience as possible for everyone involved, here are the best sex tips to keep in mind for butt play, including first time anal. You’ll feel confident in how to have anal sex in no time!
Preparing emotionally and physically for butt sex
As with anything, explicit consent is critical for any sexual act, including anal sex.
Whether it’s your first time having sex and losing your virginity, or something you want to try after having sex in other ways, it’s important to make sure that you’re ready for it. Consider slipping it into a conversation to gauge your partner’s reaction, including while you sext them with total confidence. Taking nudes with your butt in view and a ‘risqué’ message is also a good way to see how they react to the suggestion.
Health and safety precautions
Before jumping into anal sex, there are some things to take care of first, whether this is for first time anal or your umpteenth time.
One of our essential sex tips is to relax your muscles and use the right lube. While there are lubricants specifically made for anal sex, keep in mind that only water-based or silicone lubricants should be used with condoms to prevent it from breaking down the material. When using a silicone sex toy, you should not use a silicone-based lubricant (so it does not ruin the material).
Both sex toys for folks with vaginas and sex toys for folks with penises can be used during butt play, and can bring a lot of added fun and pleasure! We recommend using butt plugs or dilators (with adequate lube on them) to very slowly dilate the anus to accommodate something larger.
When a person with a vulva is having anal sex, they must also be wary that one should never insert their penis or a sex toy into the vagina after it was in or around the anus. They must also be careful of fecal matter coming into contact with the urethra, as urinary tract infections (UTIs) can be easily contracted.
The best positions for anal sex
Doggy Style: This position, where the penetrated person leans over a surface (like a bed or couch) with their bum tilted upwards, gives their partner easy access to the anus. It also allows for the individual bent over to control the depth and rhythm of the penetration.
Sitting: With one person sitting on the edge of a surface, the second can lower themselves onto the penis or strap-on while going to sit on their lap. This allows for control of the depth of insertion, too.
Fetal Position: The receiver curls into a fetal position on the edge of a flat surface, their knees together and butt lifted in the air. The partner can then come in from behind and insert their penis or strap-on into the anus, slowly easing their way inside. They will have complete control over both depth and speed and can angle themselves in different ways to change sensations for both of you.
Keep in mind — the deeper the penetration, the more likely you are to hit the pleasurable A-spot! You can also watch ethical porn together, to get a better understanding of these positions.
Cleaning up after butt play
After having anal sex, make sure both you and your partner shower afterwards. Butt sex — either with a penis or a sex toy — can cause microtears to the sphincter, meaning that bacteria from the anus (such as fecal matter) can cause an infection if they enter the wound. Sheets and blankets should also be thrown into the washing machine and washed in hot water to kill any bacteria.
As well, sex toys must be cleaned properly if used in the process. This will differ from toy to toy, based on the materials it’s made of and whether it has a motor or electronic component.
Whether you’re doing it for increased intimacy, to reach orgasm for people with vaginas or orgasm for people with penises, or anything in-between, butt sex (including first time anal) can be super enjoyable for everyone involved. By going into it with certainty and knowing the most comfortable positions, techniques, and sex tips, learning how to have anal sex will be both fun and pleasurable.
Do you have any additional tips for how to have anal sex? What would you recommend for those looking to try out first time anal? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below.
