How to Sext With Total Confidence in 2020
We’ve all heard of sexting stories, if not from first-hand experience, then from people that we know. Sometimes they can be steamy, but other times, they’re a complete disaster. It doesn’t matter if you’re on the hunt for sexting ideas for long distance relationships, a partner you’re going to see later today, or someone from a dating app that you’ve not yet met in-person. From intimate mood-setting questions to witty responses to sexting, we’ve got you covered.
Of course, there are also rules for sexting to be followed, which we’ve helped you out with. By following through with these simple tips, you’ll learn how to sext with total confidence in no time.
Make sure the time is right
One of the first rules of sexting is to make sure that the person on the receiving end of the messages can talk. To assess whether it’s a good time, send them a quick and casual message asking if they’re busy and (if you don’t want anyone else reading the messages) are alone.
Of course, only initiate sexting if it’s something that you are your partner have discussed in the past and that you are sure they are comfortable with. If you haven’t discussed it before and they are available to talk, ask them straight out if they want to sext. You may want to establish some ground rules based on your comfort levels at this point.
Start with a slow tease
Don’t just jump right into it; give them a little tease. Saying things like, “I was thinking we could chat for a bit,” adding in, “since I was thinking about you.” If you want to be even more straightforward, you could add, “since I’m lying naked in bed” or even letting them know that you’re thinking about them naked, too.
This is a simple way to master how to sext with total confidence. Knowing that your partner is excited to start the conversation with you and to get things going will shake any nerves and jitters.
Enjoy the foreplay
Just like physical sex, sexting should have some foreplay, too. Instead of skipping straight to how you’re naked and inside of each other, create some sensual build-up.
Play on the senses: let them know where you want to touch them, how they smell, how you can hear your heart beating faster from the building orgasms. All of these things play into turning them on, but also serve as a turn on to you.
At the end of the day, sexting isn’t just a way to get your partner feeling aroused, but also a way to make you feel sexy, empowered, and (maybe even) orgasmic, too!
Talk about the last time you had sex
Sexting stories are a great way to get both you and your partner in the mood. Talking about things that you have done together in the past can help elicit the same feelings you did when they happened. Think about the touch on your skin, the smell of the candles burning, the sound of them moaning in your ear.
This is also one of the useful sexting ideas for long distance relationships, as it recreates that sense of togetherness while you are separated. Both partners can reminisce on the times they physically were together, despite being apart for the time being.
Be descriptive
Go into full detail, both in the build-up and during the hot and heavy messages. Let your partner know every little thing that you would do to them, creating visuals that could stand up to the real deal. Build a scene — through visuals (more on that below) and words — that makes both of you feel as if it’s a lived experience happening then and there.
Though it may seem weird to use slang words like “cock” or “pussy” instead of the proper terminology, it sounds better when you’re sexting. In the heat of the moment, your partner is more likely to respond positively to the slang, as opposed to the medical terms. Unfortunately, technicalities can become a turn-off to some people.
Send a photo or two
First and foremost, there are two rules of sexting when it comes to sending nudes. One: don’t send one if you’ve been asked not to. If it has never been discussed, ask your partner if they would be okay with receiving one. It doesn’t have to be awkward — you can say something like, “I’d love to show you just how close you are to making me cum,” and see how they respond.
Secondly, if you’re planning on sending a naked (or even suggestive) photo of yourself, give your partner a heads up if you’re unsure of whether they’re alone.
Once all of that is in the clear, feel free to sprinkle in a sexy photo of yourself into the conversation, whether it’s a provocative image teasing your body, or an up-close-and-personal picture of your genitals. This is the chance to get creative!
Talk about your fantasies
Some of the best sexting stories can emerge from things that you might not necessarily do in real life. Whatever your kink may be — something you’d like to try once in your lifetime, a role-play you’ve been thinking about, or something that you have openly discussed with your partner in the past — bring it up!
By talking about your fantasies, you can act them out in a safe virtual world, without ever having to re-enact them physically. However, if these are shared fantasies or fantasies that both you and your partner would be willing to try (like public sex or butt play), you can attempt incorporating them into your next in-person meet-up.
Think about what arouses your partner
Typically, sexting is a two-way road. A little bit of give and a little bit of take. With your partner thinking about you (regardless of who initiated the conversation), you can also be thinking about what turns them on. This is why it’s one of the best sexting ideas for long distance relationships.
If your partner likes your bum, have a few pictures stashed for the right moment to drop them into the chat. If they love your banter and humour, have some witty responses to sexting ready to go. Being mutually turned on is often a turn-on in and of itself.
Give a specific compliment
Most people love compliments, especially when it comes to their sexual exploits and prowess. Know that your partner would be turned on by compliments? Let them know what you like about them! Whether it’s their “big cock,” “tight pussy,” or “thick ass.” If it’s the way they feel inside of you, how they execute a certain position, or how they make you cum every time you see them, let them know!
By giving a specific compliment, a sexting partner will often switch their focus to that for a while, knowing that it’s something that turns you on and talking about how they’re going to use that body part on you or how you two will have sex in that particular way.
Ask them questions
Whether you’re looking to initiate a more intimate conversation or hoping to keep an already sexy chat going, asking your partner questions is a sure-fire way to accomplish either thing. A solid tip is to think about the questions you want to ask them in advance, so that you have them ready in your mind for when the time is right.
Some questions to get things going might include:
“What do you want to do to me?”
“What do you want me to do to you?”
“Where should I kiss you?”
“Where do you want to fuck me?”
“Which part of my body do you want to see right now?”
“Do you want me to get rougher?”
Don’t be afraid to pass over the reins
Part of learning how to sext with total confidence is allowing your partner to take some control of the conversation. Whether accomplished by asking them a suggestive question about what they’re going to do to you, sending a nude, making a request, putting the ball in their court allows you to step back and enjoy the experience.
Take this time to focus on pleasuring yourself — manually, with a sex toy, or simply by reading your partner’s messages and looking at the visuals. In the meantime, don’t be afraid to be a little assertive, letting your partner know that you want them to continue talking about a specific thing, or what you love about a particular photo they sent.
Inject some humour
Looking for some ways to add in witty responses to sexting? Try dropping in a gif instead of typing out your reaction — a swoon or faint would do well for receiving a nude. You may also want to send a relevant meme (like Daenerys Targaryen screaming, “Where are my orgasms?”), or a little suggestive and cheeky joke to lighten the mood while still keeping things sexy.
Drop in a voice note
If you want your sexting stories to be memorable, record a voice note. Whether it’s a short sound bite of you moaning or a longer clip of you murmuring what you want to do to your partner, it’s sure to take things up another notch. It’s also one of the great sexting ideas for long distance relationships, since it allows your partner to hear your voice when they can’t be with you face-to-face.
Use a voice recording as a dramatic conclusion to your sexy interaction by sending the audio of you cumming. It lets your partner know that they’ve done a good job at turning you on, that you’ve made yourself cum, to help them reach climax, or a combination of all three.
Ultimately, the way that you sext your partner should be a reflection of you both as individuals and serve to boost your sex life. From the language you choose to use, the questions that you ask one another, and the photos you opt to (or choose not to) send, everything boils down to keeping sexting fun and comfortable for everyone involved.
From sexting ideas for long-distance relationships to capturing the attention of a soon-to-be hook up you’ll be meeting tonight, these are all easy yet sensual ways to set an intimate mood. Now that you know how to set up the conversation from initiation and come (pun intended) to a conclusion, you can be sure that you now know how to sext with total confidence.
When you’re ready, pull out your phone and tell us how it goes!
Do you enjoy sexting? Do you use it as a practice run for the real deal? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below.
