Starting a Long-Distance Relationship (And Making It Work)
Though not a definite death sentence to a romantic relationship, long-distance dating can be challenging to work through. Of course, stresses and pressures on both partners (typically) increase depending on distance, whether you’re in different cities, countries, or even continents than your significant other. People who refuse to acknowledge the necessary adjustments needed in a situation like this may find themselves wondering when to let go of a long-distance relationship in favour of a break-up.
It doesn’t have to be this bleak.
The dos and don’ts of long-distance dating do not have to be extensive and needlessly stressful. In fact, by having a grasp and following the most critical components, your relationship can successfully make it through, whether you or your partner are living in separate cities, or one of you is living abroad.
Do: Have a long-term mindset
If starting a long-distance relationship is on the table for you and your significant other, thinking short-term will likely cause your romance to fizzle out. Instead, brainstorm together how you can make the time that you are physically apart still work. Perhaps this is carrying on as you usually would, minus some adjustments. Maybe this means considering an open relationship until you can regularly be face-to-face.
Don’t: Dwell on the negatives of the situation
Long-distance dating will not be an easy feat for either of you. When faced with trying situations, we often feel inclined to linger on our negative thoughts. Not only can this be detrimental to our mental health, but it also does not serve any purpose in keeping the relationship alive and actively working to resolve issues that may arise during your time apart.
Do: Manage your expectations
Whether you have been living in separate cities from the get-go or decide to begin living abroad after years of dating, you need to be clear on what to expect from one another during this time. Ensure that these hopes are possible; that is, if you live on different continents, meeting up in person once a month isn’t necessarily possible. However, video calling each other once a week is manageable.
Don’t: Avoid addressing your worries
When it comes to long-distance dating, it’s normal for you to have concerns and reservations about being apart from your significant other for long periods. Whether it’s coping with surviving a dry spell or feeling lonely without them next to you in bed, bring up your worries to your partner.
Do: Communicate regularly
Building intimacy without sex is easier than you think, even when just starting a long-distance relationship. Though text messages are great, especially for day-to-day communication, personalize them with photos and videos of wherever you are and what you’re doing. Phone and video calls where you can hear each other’s voices are ideal whenever possible.
Don’t: Lose your sexual attraction
When living in a different country — or even a different city — seducing your long-term partner with physical touch is not always possible. That said (if this is something you are both comfortable with), you can send nudes or other forms of sexting and masturbate on steamy video calls. There are even sex toys that can be controlled by your partner across the world, all through a phone app!
Do: Plan virtual date nights
There are tonnes of unique date ideas for you to have, all of which can be done in the virtual world. Whether it’s chatting over a coffee or cocktail on a video call or playing online card games, spending quality time together is extremely important.
Don’t: Neglect acts of self-care
Starting a long-distance relationship can be stressful, but it doesn’t mean that you should forget to do things for you. Acts of self-love and self-care — anything from going for walks to taking this time to travel the world — are as important as ever. Don’t forget about taking care of you!
Do: Make plans to meet in-person
Being separated is difficult, particularly when you are both living in a different country. However, you can close the distance by visiting one another as much as possible, or by meeting up in one of the many sex-positive cities around the world.
Don’t: Forget about your relationship endgame
The ultimate goal of your relationship may be to move in together, whether in your city or theirs. The objective may be to survive a set time apart until the partner living in a different country returns home.
When to let go of a long-distance relationship, though? When there’s no longer an endgame in sight.
Instead of thinking about when to let go of a long-distance relationship, you can think about the steps both you and your partner can take to make it work. Whether it is you or your significant other who is living abroad — or even just in a different city — working together to make the most of this period is not impossible. By keeping your eyes on the ultimate goal, you can make it through this physical separation.
Would you be wary of starting a long-distance relationship? Would living in a different country or city than your partner be a deal-breaker for you? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below.
