Enforcing Prescribed Norms: Why Gender Reveal Parties Suck
For many, pregnancy is an exciting time, with the months leading up to the birth of a baby consisting of preparing to care for a new life. During this time, parents-to-be may be contemplating the personality their child will grow up to have, the interests they’ll develop, and — often — what their baby will look like. This includes what genitalia they will have between their legs.
In a modern world, we still feel the residual effects of an antiquated notion that the value of a woman is tied directly to her ability to conceive and bear children (preferably males, which can pass along the father’s name). Though the thought may seem shocking to some, and though we might protest it adamantly, the fact is that these are the roots of our gender revealing celebrations.
So, the question remains: why are gender reveal parties a thing?
Sex and gender are not interchangeable
While ‘sex’ refers to the biological anatomy of a person (penises associated with male bodies and vaginas with female bodies), ‘gender’ describes the social and cultural identities associated with each respective sex. Thus, gender reveal parties are not actually about unveiling the gender of the child — since prescribed norms dictate this — but rather, they announce the genitalia of the child.
In announcing the sex of your baby, you are choosing to define your child by what is between their legs before they are even born. Before you have the opportunity to know them as a person.
It’s a reinforcement of gender stereotyping
It begins the moment you declare, “it’s a boy!” or “it’s a girl!”
Whether this happens during pregnancy or once the baby is born, there is an initiation of a binary view: male or female. The former is deemed handsome, tough, strong, loud, and rambunctious. The latter is pretty, shy, gentle, cooperative, and soft-spoken. What’s more, strict gender roles do not allow your child to experiment with their identity. One gender plays with trucks and spaceships, while the other is given dolls and plastic kitchen sets.
As if to say, women cannot — or should not — be race car drivers or join the national space agency, and men cannot and should not be nurturing parents or aspire to be chefs. When you stop and think about it, it’s absurd. If this point is so obvious, why do we continue to foster these split avenues for either sex?
The sex of your child should not matter
Why are gender reveal parties a thing?
In the twenty-first century, the sex of your baby should not matter. Gender roles should not be in place. Parents should not be hoping for either a male or a female child, as the purpose of having children should no longer be tied to archaic notions. This is no longer a world where producing male heirs is of the utmost importance, with females only required (in moderation) to facilitate this population trend.
Therefore, hosting a party revolving around the main purpose of revealing your unborn child’s gender is irrelevant.
What can you do instead?
Wondering what to do instead of a gender reveal party? Keep the sex of your baby a secret — or, better yet, a surprise even to you — and opt for a gender-neutral baby shower or pregnancy reveal instead. Neither of these events will detract from the celebration of pregnancy and new life, nor will it eliminate the opportunity for well-wishers to gift clothing, toys, and supplies for your little one.
Should you opt to put together a gift registry, all age-appropriate toys can be included. When considering clothing, select colours that are gender-neutral, like shades of white, green, and yellow. Though simple, these are massive steps towards allowing your child to shape their own identity and interests, based on the things that they truly enjoy doing from a young age.
Why are gender reveal parties a thing? At the end of the day, the need to determine the sex of your baby before their birth is likely going to perpetuate the engraining of gender roles before the child even emerges from the womb. As for the question of what to do instead of a gender reveal party, it becomes clear that the answer is actually quite simple.
By taking a more relaxed approach and celebrating the joy of new life, rather than the satisfaction of whether a boy or girl is on the way, we can work collectively as a society to shift our perspectives.
Do you feel that revealing the sex of your baby is important? What are your opinions on traditional gender roles? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below.
