How to Seduce Your Long-Term Partner
Learning how to enchant and completely seduce your long-term partner isn’t as difficult as you might think. By paying attention to the little things that they do and being actively aware of how you can deepen your connection with your significant other, couples can have a better relationship overall.
Just because you’ve been together for a long time does not mean that things have to get boring!
Remember, it’s not about necessarily using general seduction tips, but rather about taking this advice and using it to attract a specific person — your uniquely individual significant other. So, take these broader guidelines and make them work for your partner, specifically.
Stop taking them for granted
Step one to seducing your long-term partner: Don’t allow feelings of complacency to settle in. Stop giving in to your relationship becoming something boring and unappreciated. Before you even begin considering the ways that you will encourage them to fall for you all over again, take a pause and reflect on how they make your life better just by being in it. After all, how can they appreciate you when you have not yet learned how to appreciate them fully?
We love using journaling prompts for a better relationship, which helps explore the current perspectives you have on your relationship and help you see the positive directions that it can take from now on.
Remind them why you love them
If you’re looking to completely seduce your significant other, start by reminding them of all the things you love about them. This doesn’t have to be all at once — in fact, it’s likely better if you don’t bombard them with your affection — but spread them out over time. Let it be a consistent thing you think about and talk to them about on the regular. Little remarks like, “I love that you often wake up ready to take on the day,” “I love that you always encourage open communication between us two,” and “I love that your eyes always have a mischievous sparkle to them” can go a long way and make their day!
Keep in mind the little things
Whether you and your long-term partner have been together for months or years, it’s always nice to feel like they care about you. While reminders of how you love them are an incredible start, it’s also a good idea to remember the little things that come up in conversation. Maybe they mention in passing a place they want to visit and (if not taking them on a surprise trip there) you can pick them up a book of top tourist destinations in that location. Perhaps they bring up a cool new arcade that’s recently opened up, and you can use that as the spot for your next unique date out on the town. When you pay attention to the little things, the possibilities for making your partner feel noticed and appreciated are endless.
Ask your partner about their needs
A healthy, balanced relationship is where everyone involved has their needs acknowledged and met; thus, this makes it one of our crucial seduction tips! Because love and mental health are critical and often intertwined, talking to your partner about your needs (emotional, physical, spiritual, and so forth) is essential. While it can be easy for us to recognize how we’re feeling and what we want, it’s not always so apparent to the other people in our lives.
When it comes to further exploring your sexual sides, take the time to find your sexual style. Once you understand this better, you can meet one another’s sexual needs with greater ease.
Take an interest in their interests
The first step is to have better conversations with your partner. Ask about what they are interested in, their hobbies, and delve into topics they are genuinely passionate about. As you learn more about what fascinates them, you get to know them better as people and further develop your friendship. After all, maintaining and strengthening your relationship as friends is crucial to a long-term romantic relationship.
When you start to understand these things, hopefully even developing an interest in them yourself, it opens up further opportunities to go out and do things together. Maybe it’s taking a couples’ pottery class to develop this skill, or perhaps it’s something as simple as reading a book together once a month.
Send a flirty text (or try sexting)
A little flirting can go a long way, especially when you’re giving your partner a taste of what’s to come. Whether sexting about your fantasies, describing (and reminding them) about a session of morning sex you had a couple of weeks ago, or telling them that you can’t wait to give them oral sex later that day (whether it’s fellatio or cunnilingus), this is a seduction technique that will captivate the mind of your significant other.
Leave them thinking about you for the rest of their day — it doesn’t matter if they’re at work or running errands — and have them anticipate the moment that you’re finally both together alone. If you’re feeling particularly sensual, you may even consider sending them a nude as a tease of what’s in store.
Create a safe space for you both
Ultimately, your partner can’t be seduced if they don’t feel safe or comfortable. When it comes to sex, regardless of whether you’ve done a particular sexual act before, consent should always be expressed enthusiastically and given willingly (without pressure or coercion). In addition to opening up about your feelings and sharing these thoughts candidly with one another, talk to your partner about sex. What do you want? What do you like? What is most important to you?
To explore these questions further, discover more aspects of your physical intimacy and aim for more mindful sex. By making yourselves aware of all of these things and exploring them in-depth, you’ll strengthen your connection and encourage better sex as you age.
Increase time spent on foreplay
Don’t just jump right into sex; emphasize the importance of foreplay with your partner by drawing out the erotic build-up. It’s one of our top seduction tips!
Foreplay is the ideal opportunity to get to know each other’s bodies better and heighten your arousal and attraction levels. Taking the time to explore can increase your chances of orgasm as well, since you’re focusing on the stimulation instead of just having quick and potentially thoughtless sex.
Arouse and tease one another’s erogenous zones with a sex toy (more on that in a bit), have a wild night with a thrilling sex game or two, or build intimacy with shower sex and the sensual washing of one another’s bodies.
Switch up Dominant roles in the bedroom
A fun way to seduce your long-term partner is by switching roles from who typically takes charge. Whoever is usually submissive can take on a more assertive role and vice-versa. The notion of stepping out of your comfort zone and taking control when you normally play along with what your partner wants or taking pleasure in being dominated by an often-docile partner can be exhilarating. If you have a relatively balanced relationship in terms of being Dominant during sex, consider taking turns alternating between Dominant and submissive roles to keep things exciting.
Regardless of the position you’re adopting in this role reversal, some light BDSM play can be extra fun if you’ve not yet tried it before!
Incorporate a new sex toy into your routine
If there’s one thing we can totally get on board with, it’s incorporating sex toys for couples into a sex routine. Adding a toy can help make sex more exciting and enhance your shared experience between the sheets (or on the floor, in the shower, on the living room sofa...). Besides increasing your chances of orgasm regardless of your genitalia, it also helps foster an enjoyably playful yet sensual atmosphere for you both.
If you’re interested in focusing all your attention on your partner every once in a while, as opposed to just shared play, you can find tons of great sex toys for vaginas and sex toys for penises, too!
Experiment with role-playing
Ready to step out of the ordinary to seduce your partner? Try a role-play scenario you’ve both been fantasizing about! With so many different role-play characters to try out, it’s easy to find something that piques your interests. Depending on your comfort levels and desires, you can do anything from playfully dressing up and remaining ‘as yourselves’ to fully immersing yourself in a storyline and staying in character.
Role-plays don’t have to involve much planning or forethought, nor do they necessarily need any costumes, props, or specific locations. Consider age play (adult and child), two strangers meeting for the first time, boss and employee, or a celebrity meeting a loyal fan or groupie.
Remember that it’s not all about sex
Curious about how to enchant your partner more, day-to-day? Remember that it isn’t always about sex!
You can deepen a sense of intimacy and, consequently, seduce your partner intellectually and emotionally through non-sexual actions. Leaving love notes around the house and complimenting them not just on how they look, but also on their talents are super important.
Acts of service are another great way to cement this knowledge. Calling them up to say, “I love you,” doing a chore that they hate, running an errand for them, and even encouraging them to show themselves acts of self-love and self-care are fantastic starting points. Arguably, these are some of the key foundations of a balanced and healthy relationship!
It doesn’t matter if you’re looking to boost your sex life or finding a way to strengthen your emotional connection through non-sexual means, learning how to enchant and completely seduce your long-term partner is essential to making your relationship last. While it’s not all about sex (and there are plenty of ways to build intimacy without sex), communicating openly about your needs to one another and making time to get to know each other sexually is also vital.
Remember: take this advice and use it to attract a specific person, your specific person. While these are great tidbits of general guidance, the fact is that each couple is unique, and these differences should all be taken into account on an individual basis.
What are your tried-and-true ways to seduce your long-term partner? Do you think it’s important to consider how to attract a specific person (that is, your partner) or to think of it as a more general, one-size-fits-all approach to seduction? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below.
