How to Have a Better Relationship in 13 Easy Steps
What makes a good relationship?
Though there isn’t just one answer to this rather complicated question, there is a combination of solutions that could guide you towards understanding how to have a better relationship. However, this is not just a one-sided endeavour — both partners need to be on board with the process. Indeed, it’s important to understand the qualities of a good life partner, both to find someone who treats you right and for you to emulate these qualities yourself.
We hope that these 13 factors are clear and simple for you to help you learn how to be a better partner and determine what to look for in a significant other. When taken into consideration and thoughtfully implemented, they could potentially save a relationship.
1. Be genuine in your actions
Don’t do things solely for the sake of getting your significant other off your back, or because you want something in return. Part of learning how to be a better partner involves acting in a genuine and altruistic way, whether you are in the early stages of dating or have been together for decades.
Failure to present as your most authentic self only serves to create a relationship based on illusions, and can even foster a sense of resentment due to feeling the need to hide your true self. By being upfront, you’ll feel better both because you have remained true to yourself, as well as because of your honesty with your partner.
2. Be honest, open, and clear
Tying into the previous point, one of the essential qualities of a good life partner is their ability to communicate openly and effectively. Regardless of the topic — from moving in together, to what to cook for dinner, or picking a vacation spot — honesty is really the best policy.
The ability to express your needs, desires, and fears is critical in maintaining a happy relationship. Moreover, by being comfortable in expressing these things yourself, you are simultaneously encouraging your partner to do the same. Building a sense of mutual trust will serve to strengthen your bond for the long haul.
3. Listen to what your partner says
How would you feel talking to a brick wall? Like it was pretty pointless, we would imagine. Hence the reason why you need to listen to what your significant other is saying.
Remember things that they said to you, bringing up topics that they have spoken about in the past and participating when they talk to you. Do your best to avoid the things that they dislike and try to incorporate more of what they do enjoy (in terms of things you do and say, as well as for tangible items, like gifting for birthdays or holidays).
In addition to listening to the words that come out of their mouth, you should be paying attention to them in their entirety. ‘Listening’ to their body language, their facial expressions, the tone of their voice. Taking all of these factors into consideration is key to paying attention to a person entirely.
4. Act considerately
Being considerate is one of the most attractive characteristics that a person can possess. This could constitute something as simple as being intuitive to your partner’s needs or offering a smile when you make eye contact, but can take on more complex attributes, too.
Don’t always put yourself first (though, of course, it is necessary not to adopt a permanent state of selflessness), be patient with them on their off days, and be aware of your actions. That is, mind your manners.
As an example, if you are told that they do not like it when you do or say something, and it’s with good reason, try your best to avoid doing it again in the future.
5. Be respectful of your differences
What makes a good relationship is the fact that no two people are the same. Differences keep things interesting, keep things exciting. However, when these dissimilarities reach a severe contrast, they also have to be respected.
Repeat after me: nobody is perfect, and thus, no relationship will be perfect. That is, no relationship will consist of two perfect people, devoid of flaws or faults. You’re going to have disagreements, and not only is this normal, but it’s healthy.
Express your points of view to your partner in a respectful way, avoiding shouting and belittling their opposing perspective. Don’t bring up unrelated arguments of the past, be open to change, know when it’s time to let something go, and be willing to forgive their mistakes (within reason, of course).
6. Avoid placing blame
Whether your significant other is at fault or not, don’t jump right into an argument when something comes up. If you see the dishwasher hasn’t been unloaded after they promised that they would, there’s a pair of dirty socks lying on the carpet, or they decided to hang out with friends on a night you had previously agreed to stay in for, initiate a conversation to uncover their reasoning. Once you do, you can talk about how it has affected you.
On that note, try to avoid accusatory phrasing when speaking to them about negative emotions you are feeling towards them. Instead of saying, “You’re making me so upset today because [insert your reason here],” try, “I’m feeling upset today because of how you [insert your reason here].” No screaming match is necessary when you’re both communicating openly and calmly.
7. Admit when you are wrong
One of the key tenets of how to have a better relationship is the ability to admit that you’re not infallible. Not just acknowledging this fact in the quiet recesses of your mind, but also out loud to your partner.
Whether you lashed out over something small that could have been resolved with a more rational conversation, took out a day’s troubles on your significant other, or were at fault in any other situation, you should apologize for it. A sincere apology, one where you acknowledge what it is that you did wrong, how it made your partner feel as a result, and a reassurance that you’ll think more about the consequences of your actions.
8. Have good sex
Typically, the more sex a couple has, the more indicative it is of their happiness together. So, if the physical aspect of your relationship has simmered down, how can you reignite the flame?
As noted earlier, what makes a good relationship is a foundation of honesty and open communication. This also applies to the topic of sex. Create a sex-positive space for both you and your partner by discussing your fantasies, your favourite (and least favourite) positions, and when the best time to do it is. If you’re too tired in the evening after a long day at work, why not try having regular morning sex, instead?
9. Speak openly about your finances
Yup, the necessity to be honest with your partner permeates even into discussions of finances.
Married or ‘in for the long haul’ couples should be open about their spending and earnings with one another, since their finances are likely co-dependent (especially when it comes to rent or mortgage payments, bills, and the like). Nevertheless, even new couples need to be upfront in some ways about their individual financial situations.
Instead of squandering your money on dates that you can’t afford, buying gifts or items that are not within your budget, or taking trips together that are beyond your means, be honest with your significant other. Material things are not what makes a good relationship. When it’s not possible or not practical, let them know that whatever ‘it’ is, is beyond your current budget.
10. Don’t be afraid to be playful
We’ve been pretty serious so far, throughout this article, but we do want to emphasize the importance of having fun! Don’t be afraid to be playful, light-hearted, and have a good time with your significant other. One of the best qualities of a good life partner is their ability to make you laugh and to make you smile.
Adopting a predominantly carefree attitude is a great way of shedding resentment, frustration, and anger, while reminding yourselves why it is that you both love each other.
11. Spend quality time together
It’s not just enough to be in the same room as someone; building a deep and meaningful relationship comes from spending valuable time together. One of the most important qualities of a good life partner is their ability to make time spent together pass quickly, thanks to the fact that being around them always feels special.
Whether it’s watching a movie together before bed, going out on a date night, or having a deep conversation while eating dinner at home, it’s not necessarily about what you do together during this time, but rather, how it makes you feel.
12. Try exciting new things
From trying out new sex positions, to going on adventures abroad, to taking a joint class together, doing things that you both will enjoy is key to the success of a relationship. This will help keep the excitement high and the spark alive, especially if you do not live together and are looking to spend more time face-to-face.
Though your more commonly shared experiences can certainly be nice, new ones are more likely to boost the ‘wow factor’ of your relationship and, thus, your feelings for one another. This is one of the most basic things that you can do if you want to be a better partner.
13. Stay faithful to your significant other
Unless you and your partner have explicitly discussed and agreed on being in an open relationship, remaining faithful to one another is crucial to its long-term survival. While cheating creates a chasm in your significant other’s ability to trust you, it prevents you from taking the time to take the steps needed to improve your relationship.
If you’re truly that unhappy with your partner, enough to seek fulfillment in another person, it’s in your best interest to break up with them and find someone who is better suited for you.
Now that you have a better understanding of what makes a good relationship and how to be a better partner, you must remember these things within your current relationship, or in any future partnership that you may enter. When actively being considerate and respectful, keeping things fresh, and listening to what your partner has to say (among all the other points we made above), you’re sure to be happier in your relationship.
Do you feel we missed any tips on how to have a better relationship? What do you think are the qualities of a good life partner? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below.
