Talking With Your Partner About Your Needs
Many of us are seeking ways for communicating better, especially in the new year as we learn to value opportunities for more self-love and self-care. One of the most important areas to work on is understanding how talking with your partner to communicate your needs is essential for a solid relationship; expressing your needs is the foundation for working together not only to help the other reach their full potential through your assistance, but also to aid them in building themself up.
Curious about how to have better conversations with your partner regarding expressing your needs clearly and effectively? Look no further than our points below.
Understand that being clear and direct is crucial
Besides the obvious points — and what is 'obvious' to you may not be 'obvious' to your partner — not all of one's needs are evident. Thus, it becomes vital for us to feel comfortable candidly speaking to our partners about what we need, how certain things affect us, and so forth. Whether it's talking to your partner about sex (for example, a conversation about your kinks and fetishes) or expressing your need for alone time, be honest, open, and frank.
Explain what a situation looks like to you
We don't always see eye-to-eye with our partners, and at times, something that bothers us might not bother them. Part of communicating better means that we must be unafraid of explaining how we perceive a particular situation. If you feel comfortable, mention this when it occurs (especially if you view it negatively), making your partner aware of your perspective. Otherwise, being honest about it after the fact is highly recommended. This helps to avoid negative attitudes shifting into becoming negative feelings.
Describe how an event made you feel
We all experience negative feelings at times, often associated with situations we didn't enjoy or feel comfortable about. Regardless of your reasons for feeling this way, describe to your partner what you are experiencing and what is causing you to feel that way. In doing so, you can communicate your needs to your partner, allowing them to understand how they can help you feel your best and avoid putting you in situations where you feel less than comfortable.
This also applies to openly discussing your positive emotions, reinforcing what makes you feel your best!
Be candid on what your needs are
With love and mental health intertwined in many ways, it's essential that you feel comfortable speaking frankly with your significant other. Make them aware of what you need to be your very best while encouraging them to share their needs with you. Don't forget to discuss topics relating to health, social scenarios, and your sex lives (this can help maintain passion in your relationship).
Ask something of your partner
Now that your partner is aware of your needs, tell them how you expect them to help you. For example, if you need reassurance, ask if they can offer words of encouragement each day. If you notice you're having a hard time avoiding a particular food that's upsetting your stomach, ask your partner to stop bringing that food home from the store.
Couples therapy is an excellent way of getting all of your emotions on the table and fostering discussion between partners.
Check-in with one another
Learning how to communicate your needs is truly an act of self-care. While it's important for both partners to feel that they can come to each other at any time (should the need arise), it's also essential to check in with one another every couple of months to see if your needs are both being met. This simple act is key to helping you have a better relationship and an amazing way to build intimacy without sex.
Now that you know how communicating better is essential to talking with your partner and expressing your needs, we hope that you’ll strive to incorporate this self-love exercise regularly into your relationship. By opening up the table for both yourself and your significant other to speak freely with one another, you’re fostering opportunities to meet one another’s needs and to encourage the other to do the things that are best for them.
Remember, being receptive to your partner's needs and opening up in a way that allows them to be receptive to yours is critical for maintaining a stable relationship.
How do you think you can communicate your needs better with your significant other? Is talking with your partner about things like boundaries, self-care, and other desires important to you? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below.
