Keeping the Spark Alive: Maintaining Passion in Your Relationship
Figuring out how to keep the passion alive or bring back the passion once it has fizzled — in a long-term relationship — is simpler than you might first imagine. Whether you’re in a slump of not having sex after kids, feel like you can no longer talk about your goals for the future, or have no idea what it takes to seduce your partner anymore, there are solutions.
To help you keep the spark alive, we’ve outlined eight of our favourite tips and tricks for maintaining passion for a long-lasting relationship.
Have in-depth conversations
Have better conversations with your partner! Open up about what you want from your relationship and how you think you can work together to improve things. Tell each other how and why you love one another. Tell your significant other about your plans and fantasies. Talk about your kinks and fetishes.
The bottom line: start a conversation. There’s always more to learn about the people you love.
Practise forgiveness
Not everything in a passionate relationship revolves around sex and getting better in bed. A key element of fostering a long-lasting relationship is centred on trust and forgiveness, whether you’re living together or making a long-distance relationship work. Everyone makes mistakes — we forget to take out the trash on garbage day, pick up bread on the way home from work, or even that our partner wanted pizza on the weekend instead of pasta. Sometimes, we have to forgive and move forward.
Celebrate one another’s successes
While it’s crucial to practise self-love and do things to work towards your own happiness and success, it nonetheless feels good when you have the people you care about cheering you on from the metaphorical sidelines. This is why celebrating your significant other’s triumphs is so essential to keep the spark alive in your relationship, as well as to comfort them and offer your support when things don’t go as planned.
Show each other affection
Regardless of which of the five love languages you and your partner resonate with the most, it’s important to show one another affection and love to keep the spark alive. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable with each other, opening up to them about your feelings towards them, what you feel you need to be emotionally and physically fulfilled, and your hopes for your relationship down the road.
Appreciate the small things
When you’re with someone for the long haul, you’re not going to give or receive grand gestures of kindness and romance every single day. Appreciating (and showing gratitude towards) the little things become crucial. Thank them for doing the dishes, finishing a load of laundry, or making you a meal.
When someone shows that they are thankful for your efforts, doesn’t that make a difference in your outlook?
Go on more dates
Just because you’re in a long-term relationship doesn’t mean that you should stop enjoying one another’s company. By taking turns coming up with unique date ideas to go on together, you’re showing that your significant other is worth the effort and the time invested — and they are!
This provides an opportunity to get to know one another even better, to have fun, and could even serve to boost your sex life. Sex is a great way to end a good night out!
Initiate sex (and don’t keep a routine)
If you’re looking for ways to keep the passion alive in your relationship, don’t let sex become boring. Whether it’s sexting one another every so often (even sending nudes as a hint of what’s to come later), switching up your routine by engaging in oral sex (such as cunnilingus or fellatio), or simply making yourself mentally and emotionally present by practicing mindful sex. Both you and your partner will notice the difference.
Think ‘together,’ not ‘individual’
Most importantly, couples need to think as a unit. This isn’t to say that they are not their own persons, who can have different thoughts and feelings towards any subject. Instead of thinking about yourself as emotionally or physically separated from one another, work towards fostering a deepened connection. Instead of driving a wedge between yourselves, you are encouraging growth together as two unique individuals.
By taking into consideration the tips above (possibly in combination with couple’s therapy, if that would be of use to you), you’ll not only be able to bring back the sexual passion to a long-lasting relationship, but also have a better relationship by building intimacy without sex. So long as two people still love each other, figuring out how to keep the passion alive in the relationship can be accomplished.
What do you think are the best ways to keep the spark alive in a long-term relationship? Do you believe it’s possible to bring back the passion once it has begun to fizzle out? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below.
