For many, the thought of having to talk to your partner about sex can be off-putting or even terrifying. However, these intimate conversations are ones that, once initiated, can open a whole new world of possibilities for both partners to capitalize on. In fact, they can help you to have a better relationship!

Sex talk doesn’t have to be scary, especially when you approach it in the following ways.

Be clear about how to pleasure one another

Sure, there are plenty of health benefits of sex, but the fact is, most of us are having sex because it feels good. Thus, it becomes crucial to foster intimate conversations with your significant other to maintain that pleasure and, ultimately, to boost your sex life. Be clear about what you love to experience during sex, and ask your partner what they prefer.

Talk about your sexual fantasies

So many people have fantasies that they want to try out. By having this conversation, you may find out that your desires overlap, and you’d both be willing to experiment out of your routine. Maybe you’ve always wanted to have anal sex. Perhaps it’s attending a play party. It could even be role-playing characters with one another or wearing more lingerie. The beautiful thing is that there are no limits to one’s fantasies.

Mention your kinks and fetishes

Talking to your partner about your kinks and fetishes is essential to maintaining a sex-positive relationship. If kinky sex fulfills you and you find yourself wanting to engage in it with your partner, speaking about it openly can strengthen your relationship. That is, being honest about what you are hoping to gain sexually from your relationship can serve to deepen your bond.

Incorporate dirty talking

In addition to dirty talking face-to-face (including flirting, blatantly stating what you want your significant other to do to you... anything, really), you can also take it virtually. If your partner is into it, you can begin sexting them regularly, including sending a nude or teasing photo of yourself.

Find solutions to mismatched libidos

Sometimes, part of a couple’s sex talk involves addressing mismatched libidos. This is not uncommon and is nothing to be ashamed of! By speaking about this openly, you can find a solution that works best for you, whether it’s building intimacy without sex, opening up your relationship, reassessing your current medications... there are many potential answers.

Note the things you don’t enjoy

Just as you talk about what you want to experience sexually, make your partner aware of the things you do not like. Consent is crucial in all sexual activities, making it important for you both to be honest with one another about what is off-limits for you.

Agree on protection

If protection is important to you, for reasons of preventing sexually transmitted infections or preventing pregnancy (or both), it’s important to come to an agreement on what works for both of you. Thus, you should be considering what type of birth control is best.

Avoid criticizing each other

When it comes to improving your sex life, belittling your partner’s skills doesn’t help either of you get better in bed. Instead, guide them gently through acts like giving a handjob or fingering, noting what feels good on your body. You can also tell them how to give you an amazing blowjob or how to eat your vagina out, being specific to your individual needs. Of course, if you’re comfortable, return the favour and ask them to guide you along, too.

When it comes to talking to your partner about sex, there’s no need to feel stressed or see a couple’s therapist to initiate this particular conversation. A good partner is one who will not shame you for sparking up this discussion and who will be open to hearing out what you have to say on the topic while sharing their thoughts and feelings, too. Whether it’s delving into your sexual fantasies, what you want to experience more or less of between the sheets, or just plain old dirty talking, feel confident in your ability to speak on these subjects directly.

Unfortunately, the society that we live in has wrapped up the topic of sex with embarrassment and uncertainty. However, if there is one person that we should feel comfortable to have a sex talk with — or any intimate conversations, for that matter — it should be the person having sex with us!

What do you think are the best ways to talk to your partner about sex? What about the best ways to bring up your sexual fantasies? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below.

How to Talk About Sex With Your Partner