Here’s Why You Should Have an Open Relationship
An open, non-exclusive relationship is a romantic partnership that is sexually non-monogamous. That is, both partners have agreed that they are allowed to pursue other individuals for dating, sex, and even love (depending on their terms for the relationship).
Without a doubt, navigating an open relationship isn’t for everyone, and there are many reasons why open relationships fail. However, once you have figured out the motives as to why you should have an open relationship — reasons that apply to your specific relationship — then you can begin to explore the various possibilities.
For starters, here are some key reasons that you may want to give an open relationship a try.
Non-monogamy isn’t an issue with you or your partner
One of the biggest reasons why open relationships fail is because one or both partners are not okay with the idea from the get-go. It’s not about being sex-positive or not. People can be extremely sex-positive, yet still have uncertainties and concerns about non-monogamy. At the core of it, you’ll likely find yourselves struggling with an open relationship if you are unclear and uncertain about this point before deciding to date other people.
You know you can love more than one person at once
Before venturing into the world of non-monogamy, you have to be sure that you can love more than one person at a time. That is, neither partner will feel that they are being replaced by someone new. In fact, sometimes, maintaining passion in a relationship can be achieved by opening your heart to another person. It can also be a boost to your sex life and (thanks to extra practise) be a means of getting better in bed with your long-term partner.
You don’t want to rely on your partner for everything
Don’t want to struggle with an open relationship down the road? It would be best if you did not rely on your significant other for everything in your relationship, nor should you want to depend on them before entering an open relationship. By wanting someone else to help you with some (or all) of the sexual side of things — like watching you masturbate, oral sex like blowjobs and cunnilingus, handjobs and fingering, and anal sex — you’ll expose a whole new world of satisfaction.
However, when thinking about how to open your relationship, come up with some first date rules with your long-term partner to avoid over-stepping any boundaries the two of you set up for your external relationship(s).
You have mismatched libidos
When sex is important to you, yet you’re surviving a dry spell due to mismatched libidos with your significant other (or a discomfort in exploring your sexuality, including kinks, fetishes, and sex with individuals of other gender identities), it can take a toll on a long-term partnership. However, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you want to break up with someone you love. It is just another one of the reasons why you should have an open relationship, though!
While consent is essential from all parties involved, you can potentially have a better relationship by allowing the more sexually inclined partner to ‘burn off their sexual steam’ with another person.
You know that you can trust your significant other
Without the element of mutual trust, you will struggle with an open relationship; it will feel more along the lines of having an affair than as an agreed-upon arrangement where everyone can benefit. While you can (and should) expect candidness and honesty in these situations, your significant other should also expect that from you.
To encourage confidence that you can also meet their expectations, be clear on what they can anticipate from you. You should stay away from keeping your relationships a secret from your primary partner (unless you both agree on this in advance), actively avoid contracting sexually transmitted infections (STIs) by using protection and birth control, and be clear with your new partners that you are in a long-term relationship with someone.
While there are reasons why non-monogamy doesn’t always work, there are also plenty of motivations as to why you should have an open relationship. It can be an arrangement that is beneficial to everyone involved, working to strengthen the bond between the primary partners in many ways. What’s more, if you’re currently struggling with an open relationship, you can become more aware of the reasons why open relationships fail; that is, you can ultimately determine if it truly is suitable for you and your significant other.
Would you be open to non-monogamy in your relationship with your partner? Have you ever thought about how to open your relationship? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below.
