Let’s face it: talking dirty without feeling awkward about it can be a bit daunting at times, especially if you’re not used to erotic talk. While it may seem impossible, it’s a great way to become more intimate with your partner (and to seduce them), all while sounding natural and sexy.

Whether you’re hoping to get better and dirtily communicating during sex or in the foreplay leading up to it, we’ve got the advice you need to make dirty talk less stressful and more fun.

Be confident and know that you’re sexy

When it comes to learning how to talk dirty, there’s one critical thing you must never forget: you are sexy!

If you feel you need a little confidence boost, getting to know your body better by exploring your erogenous zones through masturbation is an excellent starting point. Understanding how your body works and what turns you on can be communicated to a partner sensually when the opportunity arises.

Preparing erotic talk in advance can be sexy

When we say “prepare,” we don’t mean “overthink and stress out.”

Think about what you’ll be getting into and consider things you might say as it unfolds or during the sex act itself. If you’re planning on using sex toys, for example, you might think about sensually deciding on which toys are best for you on that particular night (including what you hope to get out of the experience with them). If you’re looking at trying out anal toys for pegging, you might want to tell your partner how the thought of penetrating or being penetrated makes you feel and the physical reaction your body has to these thoughts.

Build up to dirty talk during sex

If diving head-first into dirty talk face-to-face makes you feel anxious, you can start from behind a screen. One of the best ways to talk about sex with your partner (other than doing so in person) is through sexting. Tell them what you want them to do to you and how you want to discover their body in new ways, getting a feel for how they react to certain things you say. This is a great starting point for dirty talk when you test it out in the flesh.

Just remember: Before you demand “talk dirty to me” of your partner, you should both be aware of what words are off-limits to each other.

Instruct their actions while considering their emotions

Ready to start talking dirty in the bedroom? Tell them what you want them to do to you. If it’s oral sex, say it. Do you want anal sex or to be bent over in the shower and taken from behind? Let them know. Is sensual, drawn-out, slow sex what you’re after? Don’t be afraid to say it.

Take things a step further by letting them know how you want to make them feel. “You’re going to be so overcome when I do XYZ to your dick/pussy.”

Gradually intensify your language of talking dirty

Not only will going from zero to 100 likely make it more challenging to talk dirty to your partner in a confident way, but it can also be a shock to them and potentially pull you both out of the mood.

Fun tip: Dive into the world of roleplaying and having sex in different spots. A change in scenery might help you open up a bit more and step out of your usual routine (including routinely speaking in a particular way during sex).

Consider trying out roleplaying scenarios

If the thought of exploring sexy talk still makes you nervous, think about testing the waters from an entirely different angle — not as yourself. In a roleplaying scenario, sex partners can assume a character and interact with each other in a way they typically wouldn’t. This can be anything from playing with exhibitionism by having sex in public (even if that’s just sex in front of a mirror) or a strict teacher and naughty student.

Plus, roleplay is an item many people want to check off their sex bucket list.

With something as simple as mastering how to talk dirty holding the potential to revolutionize your sex life and make it more fulfilling, why wouldn’t you want to give it a shot? Once you get comfortable with the idea of talking dirty without feeling awkward, you’ll have accomplished yet another way to become more intimate with and seduce your sex partner in a natural and sexy way.

Do you have any tried-and-true tips on how to talk dirty during sex? In your opinion, is it possible for anyone to eventually master the art of erotic talk without feeling awkward? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below.

Here’s How to Talk Dirty During Sex (Without Feeling Awkward)