How Do I Set Healthy Boundaries in My Romantic Relationships?
From setting emotional boundaries to physical limitations on your relationship, having personal rules in place to protect yourself psychologically is crucial to feeling genuinely happy and safe within a romantic relationship — to have a better relationship! We’re not just talking about the essential relationship boundaries that everyone should have, but rather, about learning how to create healthy boundaries (and setting personal boundaries) that are unique to you, specifically.
Ready to learn how to set boundaries? It’s time to read our tips below.
Understand why you should be setting emotional boundaries
Before you learn how to set boundaries for yourself, it’s crucial to understand why they’re vital to be implemented in the first place. When you begin to establish these healthy boundaries, you are doing so because they reflect what is important to you, your values, and your overall well-being. For example, being on board the feminist movement or being empathetic to mental illness in relation to love might be two non-negotiables for you. As you explore these parts of yourself through introspection and self-reflection, you may even become aware of issues you never previously thought much about.
Know your personal boundaries before you start dating
Before you commit yourself to a person, it’s a good idea to know what it is that you expect of a partner (including what you expect them not to do). Thus, learning the techniques for setting boundaries becomes essential, including asking yourself, Am I ready for a relationship?
Some things you may want to consider are your physical boundaries, both ‘big’ and ‘small.’ Maybe you’re uncomfortable with hugging or kissing right away. Perhaps those are okay, but receiving or giving fellatio or cunnilingus is entirely off the table. Building intimacy without sex might be a must for you, meaning that things such as public outings or at-home date ideas are necessary for you to feel safe with a partner as you get to know them better.
Be clear and firm with setting healthy relationship boundaries
Setting boundaries in relationships is important to establish from the get-go, meaning that one of the deep questions to ask your significant other — perhaps even before making it ‘official’ — should be what your respective limitations are. Using boundary-setting statements, you can convey these factors that are important to you. This is the perfect time to discuss your needs, to explain your morals and beliefs, as well as to talk about sex with your partner. Having this conversation right at the beginning can potentially save both of you from wasting your time if boundaries conflict or either partner is not willing to respect the other.
Address concerns as they arise
The fact is, within romantic relationships, things can change as you both grow together and as individuals. So, while still respecting boundaries, one or both partners’ views on specific topics might shift or change entirely, while things that were of no concern in the past might later become troubling.
Maybe, over time, you are now trying to make a long-distance relationship work and priorities have shifted. Perhaps your considering moving in together or even contemplating an open relationship. While significant others can (and do) have differing opinions, conflict resolution is only possible when your mutual boundaries are always considered and respected.
Do not waver on setting boundaries in relationships
We cannot stress enough how important it is to never compromise on your set limits. You have set healthy relationship boundaries for your emotional, mental, and physical well-being. The bottom line? It is a major red flag when a significant other ignores or blatantly dismisses the boundaries you have set. When this becomes a habit, it shows that your partner does not respect the things that are important to you; thus, breaking up with them may be best, for your happiness and safety.
By learning how to set boundaries and being aware of when boundaries are crossed in a relationship, relationship self-care is possible, as is it clear that your significant other is making your needs a priority. From setting emotional boundaries to physical boundaries, fostering open communication about your personal lines that cannot be crossed is pivotal to maintaining a balanced relationship. So, understand why these healthy relationship boundaries are so important, know what yours are before you start dating (and don’t be afraid to make note of new limitations as they arise), discuss concerns with your partner, and don’t ever feel the need to compromise what you feel comfortable with for someone else.
How do you go about setting boundaries in relationships? Do you think that healthy relationship boundaries are as important as the personal boundaries you set in other areas of your life? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below.
