Basic Relationship Boundaries You Need to Set
One of the most important pieces of relationship advice we can give you — and perhaps one of the most important things in a relationship — is setting healthy boundaries from the very beginning. While there are unique things that can be dealbreakers for certain people and not others, some relationship boundaries are a must for everyone.
That said, a good partner will, at the bare minimum…
Understand that “no” is non-negotiable
This “no” applies to sex, as well as to anything else you feel uncomfortable with. Establishing boundaries from the get-go means that you can communicate what is unacceptable to you. Like all boundaries, this goes both ways!
In terms of sex, remember that consent is crucial. As well, you should never pressure someone into or feel the pressure to sext or send nudes with your partner.
Treat you with respect
Respect takes on so many forms, from differences in opinions, sexual desires (including when you talk to your partner about your kinks and fetishes), and stepping away from sexist dating standards entirely. For the latter, this means not expecting your significant other to act a certain way because they identify as a ‘man’ or a ‘woman.’
Neither smother nor ignore you
Love and mental health often correlate, which means that relationship boundaries are necessary to maintain both. Your partner should respect your alone time, but also not ignore your needs for emotional and physical connection. Whether you spend that solitude writing journaling prompts for your mental health or going on self-dates, finding a balance for your time is vital.
Not take advantage of you financially
Establishing boundaries extends to financial limitations, too. In a partnership — unless explicitly discussed in a conversation where both partners come to a mutual agreement — finances should be equal. One partner should never be expected to pay for everything, regardless of the apparent justification.
Never dream of physically abusing you
A significant other should never harm you, emotionally or physically. One of the more important things in a relationship is the feeling of safety you have with your partner, meaning that an abusive relationship is entirely unacceptable.
If you find yourself in this situation, when it is safe to do so, plan how you can leave the abusive relationship.
Won’t judge you for your past
A person’s past is in the past; if you begin dating someone with knowledge of the things they did historically, you cannot hold that against them throughout your current relationship. In terms of making mistakes while together — once something is forgiven, move past it.*
When it comes to a person’s sexual history, regardless of their gender identity, slut-shaming is never okay. Make an effort to be sex-positive and only to date people with the same mentality.
*This isn’t to say that you need to forget past instances should it happen again. We mean not to bring something up, unwarranted, time and time again.
Value your thoughts and opinions
This relationship boundary does not mean that your significant other has to agree with everything that you say. It does mean that they respect your opinions, as well as value your willingness to share them. Openly communicating your ideas and thoughts is essential to having a happy and fulfilling relationship.
Treat your family and friends respectfully
Just as your partner must respect you, they should also be respectful of your loved ones. These are the people that play a pivotal role in your life and, thus, should be treated accordingly.
Often, particularly with our friends, we share similar ideals and interests. This can be shared pastimes, supporting causes you believe in (for example, Black Lives Matter or being an unwavering LGBTQ2S+ ally), and even something as simple as having the same sense of humour or loving the same local coffee shop. The bottom line is that these people reflect us, and if a partner cannot respect them, that’s a major red flag.
Respect all of your boundaries
Our relationship advice, summed up, is short and straightforward. To have a happy and successful relationship, some boundaries need to be set. In making these clear from the beginning, you will have a better relationship, founded on a mutual understanding and respect for one another.
Establishing boundaries in a relationship is vital for it to be healthy and thriving in the long run. While these pieces of relationship advice are the bare minimum that both partners should be adhering to, they’re the foundation for setting healthy boundaries that are important to each of you, individually.
What do you think are the important things in a relationship? How do you go about setting healthy boundaries? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below.
