Should I Stay or Go? 17 Red Flags Found in an Unhealthy Relationship
CONTENT WARNING: This article contains dialogue on partner abuse and physical and sexual assault.
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If there’s one thing that we want to help all of our readers avoid, it’s feeling trapped in unhealthy relationships. By recognizing the relationship red flags and deal-breakers that often crop up while dating (and sometimes, as one becomes more deeply involved with a significant other), you can better assess the damage that the situation can be causing to you.
These red flags of dating are not always in your face. They’re not even always obvious signs of disrespect in a relationship. However, by increasing your awareness of what these key indicators of a toxic partner are, you’ll no longer be doubtfully asking yourself, “Is my relationship healthy?” You will know, with certainty, whether or not it is.
They constantly interrupt you
This is one of the red flags of dating that often pop up. If someone is unwilling to let you speak, it’s a form of controlling behaviour.
They belittle your beliefs and goals
Essentially, they are making you feel insignificant and silly. Setting clear relationship boundaries from the get-go is an excellent way to counter this.
They ignore your needs
A betrayal of your needs for self-love and self-care, this can erode and become damaging to you in the long run.
They withhold affection from you
If they refuse to perform self-care acts for you or turn away from hugs and kisses when they’re upset, this is a red flag.
They don’t give you personal space
One of the relationship red flags often indicating jealousy, this is a key sign of an abusive relationship. Remember: leaving a violent and abusive relationship is always possible.
They don’t make time for you
It can be challenging to balance your relationship with day-to-day responsibilities, but it’s essential to make an effort when committed to someone.
They insult you
A sure sign of disrespect in a relationship (and a significant relationship red flag) is when someone insults you with ease. This includes your appearance, intelligence, hopes, and so on.
They try to force you into doing things you don’t want to
Another one of the red flags in a relationship is instilling fear and making you feel forced to do things. Consent is crucial, whether sexual or non-sexual!
They avoid answering your questions
Refusing to answer serious questions about the future, particularly ones that will affect your relationship’s outcome, is concerning.
They can’t seem to empathize
One of the big red flags in a relationship is a person’s inability to empathize or sympathize with others (yourself and those around you). It’s an indication of the type of person they truly are.
They easily hold grudges
In healthy relationships, people forgive each other. If something cannot be forgiven, it’s best to reconsider the future of the relationship.
They’re extremely critical
Judging you for the things you do, how you look, and how you act is a form of abuse. There’s no need to tolerate this behaviour.
They slut- or body-shame you
Slut-shaming an individual of any gender identity, as well as preventing body positivity, is stunting your partner’s emotional growth. Thus, it is entirely unacceptable.
They prescribe to sexist dating myths
To grow within a healthy relationship, sexist dating myths need to be recognized as precisely what they are: myths. Failure to do so creates unrealistic and unfair expectations for your partner.
They make it nerve-racking to address your concerns
If discussing your feelings with your partner or talking to your partner about your needs scares you, it’s time to step away from the relationship.
They talk a lot of crap about their ex
Yes, getting over a break-up can be tough, but someone who incessantly blames their ex-partner for things or who actively seeks out ways to sabotage their ex is toxic.
They’ve cheated on you
Cheating on your partner is a betrayal of trust and the bond that you share. Don’t ever feel obligated to stay in a situation that makes you feel upset, sad, or uncomfortable. (To be clear, we’re not talking about consensual non-monogamy.)
After reading this, we hope that all the red flags in a relationship become more evident to you and that, by recognizing these, signs of disrespect will not be accepted. Healthy relationships are essential to every person, and, similarly, there are relationship green flags that can reassure you that you’re on the right track. That said, ‘red flag’ forms of abuse, even seemingly ‘small’ microaggressions, should not have to be tolerated.
Whether these are red flags of dating or warning signs arising as a serious relationship progresses, it is not your responsibility to deal with them. Breaking up with a toxic partner or abuser is not an act of cowardice, but rather, an act of bravery and necessity.
What are some signs of disrespect in a relationship, in your opinion? What is the deciding factor of whether you stay or go? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below.
