10 Sexist Dating Myths You Need to Forget Right Now
Sexism is an unfortunate element that has leaked its way into dating, perpetuated even today in the form of sexist myths that are accepted at face value. By failing to challenge these notions, society is (essentially) collectively saying, “This is okay. This can continue.”
The thing is, sometimes, we don’t even realize that what we accept as ‘normal’ is often sexist. This is why we’ve rounded up five sexist myths commonly associated with male-identifying folks and five typically connected with female-identifying folks (in heterosexual dating scenarios), which can result in spreading misogyny and the feelings of having to maintain toxic masculinity.
1. Men should always pay for the first date
This is a hot topic, with many people buying into the out-dated idea that men need to pay for the first date. In some cases, it’s even believed that men should be paying for all dates! While considered a ‘traditional’ approach, it’s a belief that puts men and women on unequal grounds, making men feel financially obligated to a woman they don’t even know well.
2. Women should put out if their date pays for them
Wondering about what to talk about on a first date? It shouldn’t be trying to convince a woman that she has to sleep with you because you paid for her meal or drinks. An ‘act of kindness’ is not a reason to expect the recipient to return the ‘favour’ sexually.
3. Men should obsess over their partner
Neither men nor women should obsess over their partner. A total preoccupation with another person — whether casually dating or seeing long-term — is unhealthy for both parties involved. While showing affection and appreciation to your partner is nice, going overboard can become toxic.
4. Women should find men to support them financially
Encouraging women to be financially dependent on their significant other is unfair to the man expected to support another person without help and disrespectful to the woman (by assuming that she can’t take care of herself). An equal contribution is best, whether that’s in the form of time, money, or a combination of both.
5. Men should never cry
A sex-positive attitude includes actively considering what gender norm stereotypes you validate. The belief that men shouldn’t cry or show emotions encourages toxic masculinity and can be detrimental to their mental health.
6. Women should cook for their man
Like any hobby or chore (depending on how you look at it), cooking is not intended for solely men or women to do. It can be a shared responsibility that both partners do together, take turns with, or something one partner does exclusively, if they love to cook.
7. Men should exert their power whenever possible
Whether on your first date or your long-term partner, undermining someone through acts of emotional or physical abuse is not necessary. In fact, a healthy relationship requires neither partner to exert power over the other.
8. Women should not complain in front of their man
The idea that women must always be happy and positive in front of men is an out-dated expectation common throughout history. However, everyone has bad days, and it’s essential to open up and be honest about your emotions with your partner, regardless of your gender.
9. Men shouldn’t have to ask for consent
This is the belief that a man can expect a woman to allow him to do whatever he pleases to and with her, without worrying about her disapproval — from holding hands to sex. This idea is particularly accepted when he acts like a “nice guy.”
10. Women should know their place
The notion that women are, overall, inferior to men and should behave accordingly. Unfortunately, this is rooted in centuries of misogyny that date back to ancient times and has been reinforced by modern media. It can ultimately lead to becoming an abusive relationship as time goes on.
Mutual respect is the most fundamental relationship boundary to set.
With sexism in the dating world often serving to perpetuate toxic masculinity and misogyny, we must make ourselves aware of the signs. While it’s not guaranteed that we can change others’ perspectives on such topics (even after calling them out on it), we can be vigilant in ensuring that we do not enter into long-term or serious relationships with people who keep alive these ideas. Whether male- or female-identifying, it is a good indication of what is to come and the inequality that can be expected.
What are some of the sexist myths you’ve heard before, that are not listed here? How do you fight sexism, including misogyny and the advocation of toxic masculinity? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below.
