You Picked a Day, But... What to Talk About on a First Date?
It’s impossible to know what to expect on a first date with absolute certainty, whether you’re on a typical coffee date or have a really unique date idea. However, you can feel more confident (and less nervous) about the whole thing simply by being prepared with what to talk about on a first date. Whether they’re topics to broach, questions to ask, or subjects to avoid entirely, there aren’t many first date rules to worry yourself over.
Here are our favourite first date conversation tips to ease your mind and send you into your next date with complete self-assurance.
What you both do for a living
This is one of the most popular topics to touch on and can be considered one of the primary first date tips. After all, you do want to know how your date spends most of their waking life, don’t you? However, this is where we also need to bring up one of the first date rules.
While talking about the field you work in is okay, or even the company (if it’s a large corporation with many different locations), never tell someone you’ve just met exactly where you work. You don’t want them showing up uninvited.
Your hobbies and interests
If you’re looking to eventually make a long-term connection with somebody, you want to make sure that you have some things in common. This is one of the best first date conversation tips. By talking about both of your interests and hobbies, it’s an ideal method to establish some of these shared enjoyments and (if you decide to go on a second date or beyond) could be the basis of future get-togethers.
Ask questions
Asking questions is great not only for keeping a conversation going, but also for getting to know more about your date. Keep your inquiries light, trying not to pry too much into their life and making things uncomfortable. Likewise, if they ask questions that you don’t feel comfortable answering, let them know you would rather not talk about that topic, or just change the subject altogether.
Some things to consider asking are:
What type of music are you into?
What’s your favourite movie?
Do you prefer coffee or tea?
What’s your dream job?
What are your friends like?
Do you like to travel?
What’s the most exciting thing you’ve ever done?
Address any deal-breakers
Though it may be an uncomfortable subject to broach (and not something that immediately comes to mind when you consider what to talk about on a first date), you may as well get this out of the way. Even if you really like someone, it will likely be a waste of time moving forward to a second date if either of you crosses the line on each other’s deal-breakers. As one of our wise first date tips, this is something to keep in mind.
What not to talk about
Now that you know what to talk about, let’s discuss what shouldn’t be brought up. These are basic first date rules.
Yourself the whole time. The conversation should be 50/50, or at least close to it. Don’t use the entire date to speak only about yourself.
Your ex. Though it’s okay to talk about past relationships (briefly) if they bring it up, don’t steer the conversation to talking about your ex.
Awkward topics. Though it may be obvious not to talk about things like how much money they make, religion, or politics... it still has to be said.
Anything that could be perceived as confrontational. Avoid questioning things negatively. For example, if they mention that their favourite TV show is Killing Eve (and you happen to not like it), answering with, “Ugh, why?” is not the way to go.
Subjects that are too intimate. This is a first date, not a therapy session. Save conversations like these for someone you’ve developed a closer relationship with.
Yourself in a negative way. Nothing is more unattractive than someone talking themselves down. Express your self-love and let your date know why you’re such a catch!
Bonus: Getting out of a bad date or extending a good one
You never know what to expect on a first date, so it’s best to have some tricks up your sleeves in case it goes in either direction — very well, or not-so-great.
Things to say when you want to get out of a bad date:
“I should probably get going soon, I promised my roommate we’d go for a drink tonight.”
“I didn’t realize it was getting so late! I need to get up early tomorrow morning, so I should probably head out soon.”
“This has been a nice [evening/afternoon]! Are you ready to split the bill?”
Things to say if you’d like a good date to last longer:
“Want to grab a coffee after this?”
“How are you getting home?” (if they haven’t arrived in their own car, you could suggest driving them home)
“A friend of mine is throwing a party tonight. Want to pop in with me?”
After reviewing these first date conversation tips, you should be feeling much more confident in your ability to chat with a new person in a respectful, interesting way that keeps the dialogue progressing forward. Like we said before: although it’s impossible to know what to expect on a first date with absolute certainty, good conversation will guide it in the right direction!
What are some first date tips that you swear by? Do you ever have trouble deciding what to talk about on a first date? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below.
