10 Deep Questions You Really Need to Ask Your Significant Other Today

10 Deep Questions You Really Need to Ask Your Significant Other Today

Getting to know your significant other on a deeper level is vital to growing as a couple as much as it is to discover if you are genuinely compatible with one another. There are specific questions to ask your partner about your relationship and your individual lives, which can spark a conversation and help you learn more about each other. While living in ignorant bliss can be lovely for a while, it’s not something that can last. That is, it’s not the foundation of a relationship of substance.

To help get you started, here are ten deep questions to ask your significant other the next time you’re together.

deep questions to ask your significant other

1. Where do you see us ten years from now? 

These are one of those essential questions for couples to ask each other. It’s easy to think about the ‘now,’ but a bit more challenging to project a decade ahead. In a way, you’re asking them, “what do I mean to you?” Are you still building intimacy without sex, but also striving to seduce your long-term partner? Is the fire between you still alive and well?

2. How do I fit into your life?

It’s important to know where you stand with them and how they prioritize you in their life. We love this as one of the deep questions to ask your significant other.

3. Is there anything from your past that is important for me to know about?

One of the more intimate questions to ask, you’re opening up the table to your partner to speak frankly about their past and trusting that they will be honest. Perhaps they’ve been engaged or married before. Maybe they have kids they no longer see. Possibly, they have a criminal record. This is the time to bring these things up.

4. Do you want children?

questions for couples

Children can be a critical consideration for some folks, meaning that it’s one of the questions for couples that must be asked. If you want to, when is an ideal time to get pregnant or adopt? How would you both want to raise your children?

5. Would you like to get married eventually?

We think this is an essential and intimate question to ask, as it allows you to know if you’re willing to be legally bound to one another in time. That said, before getting married, we recommend reading our posts, “10 Questions to Ask Before Marriage (Part One)” and “10 Questions to Ask Before Marriage (Part Two)”!

6. How would you feel about moving in together?

Moving in together is a big step forward in a relationship, so it’s necessary to find out if that’s something they would be interested in doing. You may also want to ask if they have lived with someone before and, if so, how it went.

7. Is religion or spirituality important to you?

This is one of the deep questions to ask your significant other, as belief systems can play a big role in people’s lives. Get clear on what this means to each of you and how it will influence your relationship together.

8. What is your love language?

This is a question for couples where you’re asking, “how can I love you better?” By learning your significant other’s love language (as two examples, words of affirmation or acts of service), you can tailor your displays of affection to resonate better with them. 

intimate questions to ask

9. Are you happy with your life right now?

A rather profound question, the answer to this will help you gain a better insight into your partner’s self-love and self-care, as well as their mental health. This is something that can be worked on improving together over time.

10. What is your biggest goal for the future? 

Whether a seemingly achievable or outlandish objective, asking this question helps you understand what drives your partner and how you can help them achieve their goals and reach their dreams (even on a more general, day-to-day level).


We hope that this list of questions — these intimate questions to ask your partner — will help you better determine what it is that you’re each looking for out of yourselves and each other. By exploring these topics in greater detail, it’s easier to move forward into your future with greater confidence in knowing that you’re on the same page on crucial aspects of your coming lives.

While these intimate questions to ask are not the only possible ones on the table, they certainly are key to getting the ball rolling and learning more about one another.

Have you gone through our list of questions with your significant other yet? In your opinion, what are some good questions to ask your partner? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below.

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