Should We Make It Official? Think About These 9 Things First
Should we make it official?
When does dating turn into a relationship?
These questions, among many others, may be floating around in your head in the days and weeks while dating someone new. Before committing to a long-term relationship, however, there are more pressing matters to take into consideration. Namely, should you be dating this person long-term?
Though you can answer with a simple “yes” or “no” response, the foundation of this runs much deeper. To help you come to your own conclusions and delve into the true purpose of dating, we’ve compiled a list of nine questions to ask yourself before adopting the official relationship status.
Am I ready to date someone?
Before jumping into an official relationship status, decide if you’re in a position to begin a commitment like this. Though it may not be apparent on or before your first date, you should be able to quickly decide for yourself whether or not you can make room in your life for someone new.
Are our schedules compatible?
Although it’s possible to build intimacy without sex, it’s better when you have face-to-face time together. Not just for getting down and dirty, but also time to get to know one another, learn about your personalities, and build a stronger foundation for your relationship. That said, the answer to the looming question — “should we make it official?” — may just answer itself, if you never have time to see each other.
Have they consistently shown me respect?
It is not only to you, but also to other people, including their friends, family, and people they meet while out and about. Failure to show respect to either you or those that they interact with can be indicative of what could later develop into an abusive relationship, verbally or physically. It’s easier for someone to hide their true colours in the early stages of a partnership, but red flags can be warning signs for future behaviour.
Are they listening to what I say?
Whether discussing your favourite TV show or talking to your partner about your kinks and fetishes, they should listen to what you’re saying. Before agreeing on an official relationship status, make sure that your potential significant other cares about what you have to say (and that you genuinely care about their thoughts and opinions, too).
Do they possess any of my deal-breakers?
As the name itself suggests, deal-breakers undoubtedly need to be taken into consideration when deciding whether or not to date someone long-term. After all, the purpose of dating is to enjoy the company of your partner, including feeling a sense of trust in them. Consider things like the importance of your significant other being an LGBTQ2S+ ally, having a particular political affiliation, their personal hygiene, or if they do not want to introduce you to their friends or family.
Are we on the same page, emotionally?
If one of you just wants to be friends with benefits, while the other is looking for marriage down the road, this may not be the relationship for you. This is also the time to recognize if they are hung up on an ex-partner, are closed off from sharing their feelings, or are unable to define their emotions.
Should we make it official? Think about where they stand emotionally and go from there.
Are they trying to change anything about me?
Before reaching the point when dating turns into a relationship, you want to be sure that a potential partner is not trying to alter who you are. Whether this is through verbal abuse like slut-shaming or more discreet tactics like poking fun at the things you enjoy doing, it’s a good indication that you should find someone better suited for you.
Do they make me a priority?
...and do you want to make them a priority in your life?
Before making the big decision of labelling yourselves with an official relationship status, be sure that you come to a mutual agreement on being important parts of each other’s lives. If this is not something you both want, you may be better off with something more casual, with less of an obligation.
Do I actually like them enough to date them?
The purpose of dating is to put a label on two people that are sexually attracted to one another, but it goes beyond just this. The couple should make each other happy, support one another, be mindful during sex, and help the other grow and flourish to be the best person that they can be.
Without this, a long-term relationship loses its meaning and can leave either person feeling unfulfilled and as if they are wasting their time.
So, the next time you find yourself wondering, Should we make it official? or, When does dating turn into a relationship? shift your train of thought.
Instead, determine if you even should be dating someone new by asking yourself all of the basic questions needed to come to a satisfactory conclusion. After all, you want to be sure that the person you decide to commit to is one that you genuinely want to spend the foreseeable future with. Otherwise, it will be a waste of time.
What things do you consider before adopting an official relationship status? What are some crucial topics you talk about before dating someone new? Let us know your thoughts and ideas in the comments below.
