12 Irresistible Ways to Spice up Your Sexual Life
If you are feeling like your and your partner’s sex lives aren't what they were when you first met, you aren’t alone. Couples try all sorts of things to try to spice things up from simply going out for a romantic dinner to more obscure ideas, such as getting piercings in certain areas or, in some cases, surgeries such as breast enlargement or scrotox to please their partner’s various turn-ons. Many people are wired for something new, even in bed, and so sometimes, we need to switch things up a little to keep the fun in a relationship.
Here are 12 tips to help spice up your bedroom activities!
Talking to your partner
Many couples have difficulty discussing sexual topics, even when they have an otherwise good relationship. When sexual problems arise, it can be even more difficult to have a talk. Establishing communication is a crucial element in healthy relationships, and establishing an open dialogue is important for both a healthy sexual lifestyle, as well as a stronger emotional connection in any relationship.
How can we tackle these important issues? Find your time for conversation. It's easier than you think, and you may be surprised at what you learn about one another!
Set the mood with foreplay
Many of you probably know of foreplay, but a recent study published in a scholarly journal on sexual behaviour confirms the importance of foreplay. Researchers discovered the most intensely satisfying orgasms were had, regardless of whether someone has a penis or vagina, when sexual arousal and cravings were increased through foreplay. Foreplay helps to better naturally lubricate (folks with vaginas) and heighten sexual arousal, as well as provide a heightened desire for sex. Sex play involving foregoing climax can be even more helpful!
Do your Kegels
Almost any pregnancy offers a chance for doctors to tell folks to do this exercise that strengthens pelvic floor muscles. In fact, Kegels are crucial for sexual health. The Kegel is known for improving the organic response to arousal and for preventing pelvic organ prolapse and urinary infections. Although the exercise does not require a gym membership, it can often be harmful if not performed correctly. Be sure that if you are performing pelvic floor exercises, you are performing them properly in order to see the benefits.
The best thing about Kegels is they are beneficial for many aspects of your health, not just better sex!
Schedule sex
I know, nothing sounds less sexual than having to pencil in your sex for a 3 o’clock appointment; however, some of us live busy lives and we do have to make time. With kids running around the house all day, and work the rest of the time, we sometimes have to schedule a date night at home. Get a sitter for the evening, grab some candles, make a nice meal at home, pick up some whipped cream and chocolate from the store, and make it fun.
Giving yourself a guaranteed three to four hours for sex and arousal will change your life, even if it’s just once a month.
Bring in the accessories
Some men think using sex toys during sex may indicate they are "not sufficient enough" to pleasure their partner, but this is not necessarily true. Plus, there are tons of wholesale sex toys to be enjoyed, too (including pleasure toys for females and/or folks with vaginas)! Besides toys, sexing is a novelty for most couples, and the research also shows couples who have a lot of sexual interaction with sex toys tend to be more sexually satisfied.
The great thing about sex toys is there is a toy for everyone. Not everyone needs dildos or other toys that may be intimidating to you. Massage oils and feather ticklers are simpler toys you can use, that will be more approachable for beginners.
Incorporate a little fantasy
If you think fantasy means something similar to what is shown in 50 Shades Grey, you may want to reconsider. The brain is the most exogenous area, and stimulated imagination can stimulate the body's senses. Sexual fantasy is good for a healthy relationship. Sexual fantasies may involve role-playing scenarios that involve people other than a partner and may include sexual actions that can be exploratory and exhilarating.
Again, start small. Grab some food to-go, then text your partner letting them know the “Uber Eats driver is coming, and they’re expecting a big tip!” Have fun and keep it light; if you are not comfortable, this might not be for you.
Try something different
Give the sex world some spice by expanding the boundaries. Take the game forward. Touch one another in a new way. Try sex in different positions for the most comfortable feeling. Dress in costumes and play as a character (nurse and doctor, cowpoke and saloon worker, etc.). Have sex in a new location: on the floor, bathroom, or on a kitchen counter. Watch sexy films with each other. Bring in other items, including vibrating anal beads or feathers. Anything new can be fun!
Make a bedroom bucket list
It's very fun to brainstorm and discuss something that was always your dream, but never happened. You can use your wishlist to write your own list or to make notes and put it in a bowl. Once a week, you can draw one from the bowl and try it. See if you can make some adventurous, sexy play.
If you are scared about your partner being “weirded out” by some of your requests, or generally talking to your partner about your kinks and fetishes, you can consider lightening the mood by adding something wild like sex on top of the interstate building to get a laugh (and possibly even some consideration). Being judged, even by a partner, can be humiliating, if you put in one or two outlandish ideas along with one of your more exotic suggestions, you can approach it more lightly.
Ensure you're in optimal health
Sex and general health go hand-in-hand! Prevention and treatment of chronic symptoms of common diseases are linked to better sex. Do you have an ailment that may cause severe fatigue or breathlessness? If you are not in proper health, you will have less energy for things like sex (which, in itself, is actually very healthy for you).
Touch each other in non-sexual ways
Physical touch that doesn't involve sexual action is equally important. In fact, non-sexual physical touch from partners and friends alike has been found to release the feel-good hormone oxytocin; this can profoundly impact a person’s emotional response. It makes your body feel good and can counteract cortisol, also known as stress hormones.
A light touch and a whisper of what is to come later can cause plenty of arousal and anticipation for what is anticipated later that night!
Talk about what turns you on
Sexual desire can be among a couple’s biggest fears. This fear is genderless, with many folks being afraid and unsure about discussing their individual needs. As partners, we need openness and a sense of comfort in expressing our desires. Avoid this awkward hurdle by talking to your partner. It will make both of you happier and, ultimately, more satisfied.
The more you talk, the more comfortable you will be with one another in bed.
There are hundreds of tips to improve the bedroom. While this list is just a start, remember to be creative. Keeping things new in the bedroom is important to a lasting relationship. No matter what you do, keep things fresh.
You will be so glad that you did.
