13 Signs You’re in a Toxic Relationship and Need to Leave
CONTENT WARNING: This article mentions rape, assault, and abuse. Reader discretion is advised.
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It’s true: there are toxic relationship signs that pop up as clear indicators of an unhealthy relationship. While some of these may appear as early warning signs of a bad relationship, this isn’t to say that additional red flags can’t develop as time goes on. From ignoring essential relationship boundaries to manipulating a significant other, ending toxic relationships is often the only ‘remedy’ for these behaviours exhibited by one or both partners.
Today, we’re diving into 13 signs of an unhealthy relationship that you should be aware of.
[Please remember that these points are different from abuse (for example, a partner that is ignoring consent and raping you, causing physical harm to you, financially abusing you, or other similar behaviours). If you are experiencing any signs that you’re in an abusive relationship, it’s important for your safety and emotional well-being that you leave this relationship as soon as possible.]
They often pick fights with you
Often, toxic partners will start fights over insignificant things just for the sake of argument. In situations where a disagreement is perhaps warranted, there is no attempt at mature conflict resolution.
You always have disagreements
If you find it near impossible to see eye-to-eye with your significant other, the chances are that you don’t have as much in common as you think. This often manifests as frequent disagreements.
There’s no sense of compromise
In a balanced relationship, a couple should be able to compromise. While there are significant things people shouldn’t have to compromise for, an equal effort for negotiation is necessary for smaller concerns like where to eat out or what sofa set to purchase.
Open communication is minimal
Folks who have better conversations will have a better relationship in the long run. Regular discussions about both the little and big things help to keep a partnership strong.
They’re often jealous of you
This is often one of the early warning signs of a bad relationship. Here, a partner will make you feel uncomfortable or outright forbid you from talking to other potential love interests and will continuously ask for reassurance, among other things.
There is no emotional support
Not only is talking to your partner about your needs vital to a successful relationship, but their support for you during emotional times is necessary, too. Of course, like everything we mention here, this should go both ways.
You do not trust one another
One of the significant toxic relationship signs is a lack of trust. This extends from having them run an errand as a favour for you to them not cheating on you.
Controlling your partner
Part of setting healthy relationship boundaries (and respecting your significant other’s) is recognizing that you’re both individual people with free will. Controlling your partner is a sure sign that you are exhibiting toxic behaviour.
There is no sense of personal accountability
When a person makes a mistake — and all of us do, we’re only human — taking accountability for your actions is paramount to any successful relationship. Folks that fail to do so and either gaslight or ignore the problem altogether are toxic.
Feeling like you can’t speak up
As mentioned earlier, open communication is critical for a healthy relationship. Feeling afraid to speak up to your partner when you’re feeling upset or uncertain is never a good sign.
You’re spending less time with others
When a significant other asks you to (or you feel that you have to) spend less time with friends and family, it’s time to break up. Mental health and ‘love’ are not mutually exclusive, and a relationship should never be at the expense of your happiness.
You’ve let go of your self-care routine
If you notice that you’ve let go of your self-love and self-care routines, whether because your partner has asked you to, because they don’t give you the time to, or because you feel obligated to for their sake, this is a negative sign.
There’s a constant hope they’ll change
Ending toxic relationships isn’t necessarily easy. Folks often hold onto the hope that they’ll change their ways. Most times, this unfortunately won’t happen.
Regardless of if these are early warning signs of a bad relationship or are indicators popping up as time goes on, it’s important to recognize when a relationship is no longer a healthy one. While couples therapy might be an option to help overcome minor things in some cases, it’s not always a solution. Sometimes, the best option is to walk away and call it a day.
Please remember that the above points refer to toxic relationship signs, not an abusive relationship (although an abusive relationship will likely also have these red flags, in addition to emotional, physical, and financial mistreatment). In that case, it goes beyond simply ending toxic relationships.
In your opinion, what are the early warning signs of a bad relationship? Do you think it’s possible to learn how to fix an unhealthy relationship (and if so, is it worth it)? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below.
