Messy Sex and Sex Stains: A Guide to Clean Up
In the heat of the moment, people are not typically thinking about the post-sex clean-up that often follows certain sexual activities. As one jumps from (consenting) act to act with (a) lover(s), it’s usually about what feels good in the moment and how you want to prolong that feeling, those sensations, for as long as possible.
Besides, messy sex can be so much fun: sticky fingers, wet skin, sex stains, and all! It comes with the territory of ‘vanilla’ sex, manual sex (like handjobs, fingering, and fisting), oral sex (like fellatio and cunnilingus), and other adventurous endeavours.
That said, you’ll still want to know how to properly clean up after sex, to keep things ready to go for the next time the mood strikes. To help you get the space — and yourselves — sparkling clean after any sexual activity, we’re sharing our tried-and-true tips and tricks with you.
Put a towel or waterproof blanket down
Even when you’re planning on having vanilla sex, we recommend putting down an old towel beneath your bodies. This can help protect your sheets and having to worry about cleaning them right away. For extra protection, we also suggest getting waterproof sheets or blankets specifically made for sex, like the Liberator Velvish/Sateen Fascinator Throw or the Liberator Black Label PVC Sheets (get them for 15% off by using the code BETWEENOURTHIGHS at checkout). They’re ideal for protecting your bed from added stains, including lubes and massage oils. So jump right into it: scat play or golden showers, food play, wax play — whatever messy sex you’d like!
Dispose of condoms properly
If you’ve used internal or external condoms during sex, do not flush them down the toilet; it’s terrible for the environment and can clog your pipes. Instead, wrap them in a tissue and place them in the garbage. It’s better for your plumbing and the planet.
Wash your hands
With our hands roving all over one another’s bodies during various sexual activities — both our own and our partner’s — it comes as no surprise that they can harbour bacteria. Whether you’re aware that they are covered in bodily fluids or solids, it’s best to wash your hands with warm water and soap after engaging in sex. It helps avoid spreading bacteria and potentially causing infections.
Urinate to avoid UTIs
To avoid urinary tract infections (UTIs), pee soon after sex. Urinating helps cleanse the urethra of infection-causing bacteria that would otherwise sit in place. To help with this, drink plenty of water before and after any sexual act to help flush your body out in the hours afterwards.
Shower or wipe down genitals with warm water
After sex, first, do so with tissues kept nearby to avoid dripping on the floor on your way to the washroom (unless, of course, you were already having shower sex). While showering isn’t generally necessary after sex, it’s essential after engaging in butt play and anal sex.
Bonus: wipe your genitals down even before sex with pH balanced feminine wipes to eliminate any bacteria that may be sitting there and transferring over to your partner.
Clean your sex toys after each use
Try to wash your sex toys before each use (to make sure they are clean) and after you’re done with them (to remove any bodily fluids you’ve gotten on them). This holds especially true if you are sharing them with a partner. While your best option for virtually any toy is a sex toy disinfectant, non-porous sex toys can be cleaned with a cloth in soapy water, while careful not to get any electric parts wet.
Get any sex toy you want on LoveShop.ca using the code BETWEENOURTHIGHS at checkout for 15% off!
Remove stains from your sheets
Wash out semen stains immediately from fabric with cold water, as hot temperatures can coagulate the protein in semen, causing the stain to set permanently. For blood or vaginal discharge, an enzymatic spray directly on the stain (Resolve works great) will do the trick, as will soaking the spot with contact lens solution for thirty minutes.
For spots on non-washable fabrics (such as the couch), blot the area with a damp cloth before putting some hydrogen peroxide on it for three minutes. Afterwards, blot the spot again.
Sanitize anything with fecal matter
If you know in advance that feces will be involved, use a white bleach-safe sheet. After sex, wash away any solid waste with cold water before washing in your laundry machine in the hottest water temperature recommended on the label along with half a cup of bleach. However, keep in mind that bleach reacts with semen; if there is any on the sheets, the bleach will cause it to stain.
Regardless of how you’re planning on having sex next — whether you foresee it being messy sex or not — it’s good to have a plan on how to clean up after sex. So, enjoy that new role-playing fantasy you’ve been talking about. Experiment with temperature play. Keep the passion in your relationship alive, however you see fit. With a thorough strategy for the post-sex clean-up, you can let your imagination (and bodies) run wild each time you get frisky.
Do you often have messy sex that warrants a thorough post-sex clean-up? What are your best tips for getting out sex stains after an enjoyable sexual activity? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below.
