The term ‘fetish’ defines the object of one’s sexual fantasies (a living being or inanimate object), while ‘kink’ refers to the ‘non-conventional’ practices a person takes part in or has fantasies about. Considering either of these definitions, both are generally regarded as diverging from mainstream social norms.

Thankfully, in recent years, the society that we live in is becoming progressively sex-positive. Consequently, many fetishes and kinks are considered more ‘acceptable.’ Still, not every fetish (or fetishes) that a person has is understood by the broader population. This is partly due to diverse subcultures that can branch from a single fetish or kink, as it can leave outsiders uncertain of what it entails.

Today, we’re diving into the topic of sex toys (including the desire to use sex toys during sexual encounters with one or more partners or for solo masturbation), to help remove misperceptions and uncertainties our readers might have on the subject. We hope that it will give you a better idea of what it’s like to experience this fetish, as well as what someone who takes part in it might be into.

What is a sex toy fetish?

A sex toy fetish can take on a few definitions, but mainly encompasses folx that are sexually aroused by the use of sex toys for penises, vaginas, or couples for solo play (masturbation), to use on their sex partner, or to use together in a group scenario with two or more people. This can also overlap into other kinks and fetishes, including using devices shaped like other objects or character genitals to simulate a role-play situation.

Common misconceptions

While the thought of using sex toys during both solo or partnered play can elicit different ideas, some may not be as accurate as you think. For one, toys are not always used in a BDSM context or for edge play (although they can be used for that purpose). Plus, anal toys are often enjoyed by people, too — it’s not always about genital stimulation! That is, it’s not exclusively enjoyed by folx with vaginas or with penises; rather, like any fetish or kink, it has no confines from gender.

How to talk about it with your partner

When talking to your partner about your kinks and fetishes, it’s best to be transparent and open about what you expect from your sexual encounters. Would you like to masturbate with a sex toy in front of your partner or have them masturbate in front of you? Would you like to use a toy on them? In which orifice? These are just some of the questions you can ask (but many more might come up based on your unique situation).

Once clear, enthusiastic consent is expressed from everyone involved, you can get to it! Just be sure to regularly check in on each other throughout.

Things to try

Looking to explore a sex toy fetish? How about one of these suggestions:

Take advantage of the eroticism of solo play by masturbating alone or in front of a partner
Look beyond masturbation — incorporate a strap-on to penetrate your partner either vaginally or anally
Play around with your toys by using sex toys for vaginas creatively on a penis or toys intended for a penis on a vagina

Are there risks to consider?

When it comes to using and sharing sex toys, keep in mind that you must still be wary of preventing sexually transmitted infections (STIs). This is why cleaning and caring for your sex toys is so important! As an extra layer of precaution, while a toy can’t impregnate someone, birth control options such as condoms should be used as a protective barrier over sex toys to help protect against STIs.

How can I learn more?

Some of the best sex blogs, ours included, are ideal places to discover the top toys on the market. They also typically share how real people prefer to use them, making it an excellent source for tips and tricks when playing yourself. We even recommend reading some incredible erotic stories about sex toy use to gain different ideas (or even to just get off on reading).

After reading this, we hope that you now have a deeper understanding of what it means to enjoy a sex toy fetish both solo and in partnered sexual play. The next time the subject arises in conversation, we are confident that you will feel encouraged to speak about it. Whether it’s learning more about the fetish from someone who practices it first-hand or educating someone who may be closed off to the idea, we feel that we have done our job to help make the world a more sexually inclusive place.

Do you enjoy using sex toys for solo play or couples’ masturbation? What are your favourite toys to bring into the bedroom? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below.

Fetish Friday: Sex Toys