Fetish Friday: Masturbation
‘Fetish’ refers to the object of a person’s sexual fantasies (whether that’s a living being or an inanimate object), while ‘kink’ describes the ‘non-conventional’ practices that someone takes part in or has fantasies of. When looking at either definition, both are often regarded as diverging from mainstream social norms.
Fortunately, in recent years, we have seen the world become increasingly sex-positive. As a result, many fetishes and kinks are being considered more ‘conventional.’ Still, though, not every fetish (or fetishes) that a person has is understood by the general public. This may be because there are diverse subcultures often branching from a single fetish or kink, leaving outsiders unclear of what they entail.
Today, we’re diving into the topic of masturbation or masturbating a partner for sexual pleasure, hoping to eliminate misperceptions and uncertainties on the subject. We hope that it will give you a better understanding of what it’s like to experience this fetish and what folks who participate in it could be into.
What is a masturbation fetish?
A masturbation fetish describes someone who becomes sexually aroused by the thought of themselves or their sexual partner masturbating. ‘Masturbation’ describes the act of touching yourself — typically on or around the genitals — for sexual pleasure. This act can be extremely liberating for both partners, even eliciting a sense of worship from the observing party as they watch the other person bring themself to orgasm.
Common misconceptions
Let us touch on the most common myth first: Masturbation is good for you. That said, a masturbation fetish can go beyond the acts of voyeurism or exhibitionism with a partner. For many, it’s a way to boost one’s libido and self-explore the erogenous zones of your body while a partner learns what it is that you like and how you want to be touched. When everyone involved is fully consenting, it can be empowering and a huge turn-on.
How to talk about it with your partner
If you’re curious about watching your partner masturbate, having them watch you, or masturbating together, talk to them about your fetish! Starting an open dialogue is a great way to create a safe space for you to speak openly about what it is about this that excites you, how it can bring you both sexual pleasure, and the ways it can strengthen your relationship and help you learn more about each other’s sexuality.
Things to try
To go beyond manual masturbation (using your hand), you may want to consider the many sex toys for penises and sex toys for vaginas on the market! Experimenting with different lubricants can also help create a differing sensual experience, whether using your hand or a device.
Are you looking to up the voyeurism and exhibitionism factors? Consider mirror sex to feel as if there are more eyes on you in the room or to see how well you know your way around your own body.
Are there risks to consider?
Generally speaking, there are no health or safety concerns regarding masturbation or watching a partner masturbate. However, please keep in mind that certain objects are unsafe to insert into the body and that sharing sex toys can spread sexually transmitted infections (STIs). To prevent the latter, thoroughly clean your toys between uses or, better yet, do not share toys at all.
How can I learn more?
Truly, we believe that the best way to learn how to masturbate is to explore your own body. While watching ethical porn or speaking to others about what works for them can be a great starting point, the only way to know what works best for you is to experiment with varying touches, angles, speeds, sensations, and so forth on yourself. Never do anything you’re not comfortable with trying; masturbation should be empowering and sexually satisfying, not scary!
We hope you now have a fuller understanding of what it means to enjoy masturbating or watching a partner masturbate. Whenever this topic arises in conversation down the road, we are confident that you will be encouraged to speak about it (whether it be to learn more about the fetish from someone who practices it first-hand or to educate someone who may be closed off to the idea). With your help, we can make the world a more sexually inclusive place.
Does watching your partner masturbate or knowing that your partner is watching you touch yourself bring you sexual pleasure? Would you be interested in having other people (strangers or someone you know) watch one of your masturbation sessions? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below.
