‘Kink’ refers to all socially deemed ‘unorthodox’ sexual practices that a person takes part in or is into, while ‘fetish’ describes the focus of their sexual fantasies (whether those are living beings or inanimate objects). When one considers either definition, both are often regarded as off-limits, as far as prescribed societal norms go.

Thankfully, the world is becoming increasingly sex-positive, resulting in many fetishes and kinks being ‘normalized.’ That said, not every kink (or kinks) a person has is understood, possibly due, partly, to varying subcultures that can branch from a single fetish or kink. As a result, outsiders can be left feeling uncertain of what they entail.

Today, we’ll be delving into the topic of impact play in BDSM, to help eliminate your potential misperceptions and reservations on the subject. We hope that it will give you a better idea of what it’s like to have this kink and what someone who takes part in it is into.

What is impact play?

Impact play is a BDSM kink practice whereby one person is struck by another for either one or both parties’ satisfaction. This can come in various forms, including slapping, spanking, and punching, and can include using a variety of tools to help get the job done (for example, a leather paddle). Sometimes it can be sexual in nature, but it isn’t always (and doesn’t have to be).

Common misconceptions

There are a few common misconceptions we feel need to be addressed. For one, it’s not always folks with a penis in the Dominant role and vagina owners as a submissive. In fact, it’s not always opposite sexes in respective roles; same-sex partners can thoroughly enjoy impact play together! As well, impact play doesn’t always have to be painful to the recipient, as spanks, slaps, and even punches can vary in the degree of force behind their impact.

How to talk about it with your partner

When talking to your partner about your kinks and fetishes, you must do so without trying to solicit consent. After all, consent must be given freely and enthusiastically and can never be forced from someone. Speaking openly and honestly is an excellent start, being clear on what you enjoy, the typical degree of force you prefer giving or receiving, and how you think you can incorporate it into your sex lives together.

*Saffron Square Paddle. Photo courtesy of Sportsheets.*

Things to try

Looking to experiment with BDSM and impact play? Try out some of these ideas:

For folks interested in enjoying heavy impact as part of their sexual play, bondage items like cuffs or even spreader bars can help secure your partner in place while they are being spanked, flogged, etc.
Using ball gags can be a fun way to keep someone quiet as they are being whipped or cropped
Adding a layer of sensory deprivation through blindfolds and masks can make for a more sensual mood

Are there risks to consider?

As with any form of BDSM, it’s essential to have a safeword in place if either partner wants to tap out. Should the mouth be obstructed or gagged, a non-verbal gesture can be used in its place. Of course, be clear on the force you are each comfortable receiving and administering before engaging in impact play to ensure that nobody’s boundaries are over-stepped.

How can I learn more?

While many of the best sex blogs on the internet are awesome ways to find information and ideas for impact play, we also highly recommend visiting your local BDSM dungeon — or even a nearby sex club — to see if they offer resources on the topic. The world really is your oyster.

We hope you now fully understand what impact play as part of BDSM is (including, but not limited to, being spanked at soft to heavy impact) and what it means to feel sexually fulfilled through this.

Should the topic come up in the future, we anticipate that you will feel more open to speaking about it from a place of knowledge, free from judgement. Whether it’s feeling open to further understanding the fetish from someone who engages in it first-hand or educating someone who may be closed off to the idea, we feel that we have done our job to help make the world a more sexually inclusive place.

Do you enjoy impact play, whether light or heavy impact? Have you ever tried being spanked or spanking your partner, including pushing the boundaries of your pain tolerance? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below.

Fetish Friday: Impact Play