Fetish Friday: Bondage
‘Fetish’ refers to the object of a person’s sexual fantasies, whether that’s a living being or an inanimate object, while ‘kink’ describes the ‘non-conventional’ practices that someone takes part in or has fantasies about. Considering either definition, both are often regarded as diverging from mainstream social norms.
Thankfully, recent years have seen the world become increasingly sex-positive. As a result, many fetishes and kinks are now considered more ‘conventional.’ Still, though, not every kink (or kinks) that a person has is understood by the general public. This may be because there are diverse subcultures often branching from a single fetish or kink, leaving outsiders unclear of what they entail.
Today, we’re diving into the subject of bondage between a slave and Master in BDSM, hoping to eliminate misperceptions and uncertainties on the topic. We hope that it will give you a better understanding of what it’s like to experience this kink and what folks who participate in it could be into.
What is bondage?
The term ‘bondage’ has been adopted from its use during slavery, making it a very controversial name, despite being used in a different (sexual) context. Here, while there is still a reference to slave and Master, it is a consensual BDSM relationship. The Master will engage in tying, restraining, or binding their slave for erotic, aesthetic, or somatosensory stimulation. This can be accomplished using anything from rope, zip ties, handcuffs, bondage tape, and other similar restraints.
Common misconceptions
First things first: bondage can take on various ‘intensities,’ based on the people involved and what either is comfortable with. Some are only okay with loose restraints around their wrists. Others might be sexually aroused from being bound from head to toe, gagged, and suspended upside down. There is not an inherently correct or incorrect way for someone to practice bondage, so long as everyone involved is enthusiastically consenting and has the option of changing their mind at any point in time.
How to talk about it with your partner
When you talk to your partner about your kink for bondage (and any other kinks or fetishes you might have), it’s essential to be clear about what you expect. Are you hoping that your partner will be open to tying you up and be willing to incorporate BDSM into your bedroom play? Would you like to be their Master?
Never make your significant other feel pressured to engage in a sexual activity they do not genuinely feel comfortable with.
Things to try
There are many ways folx with a bondage kink (or looking to explore the world of bondage) can enjoy it. Shibari is one of the oldest forms of bondage play; this Japanese-origin method involves using silk ropes to expertly tie a person up in multiple layers. Other people enjoy having certain body parts bound, including the region around the genitals, limbs, and breasts. Others prefer to experiment with different positions, some more uncomfortable than others.
Are there risks to consider?
As with any form of BDSM or sexual practices that can push the boundaries of comfort, it’s crucial to have a safe word (or action) in place that everyone is very clear on. Should anyone involved speak this or make the action, everyone must stop immediately. It’s also important to consider how tightly binds are being tied, that slaves are correctly bound, and — should the slave want to be released — that scissors or similar tools are on hand to loosen the binds quickly.
How can I learn more?
The internet is your oyster! There are plenty of websites and bondage and BDSM communities for people to learn about the types of bondage they are currently interested in, as well as learning about new forms of it that they may not yet know about. Many BDSM dungeons and sex clubs also offer in-person and online classes to teach folx how to tie restraints properly. They may also provide additional tips and tricks, including safety advisories, on other methods of bondage.
We hope you now have a better understanding of what folx who enjoy bondage as part of BDSM are into. Should this topic arise in conversation in the future, we are confident that you will be encouraged to speak openly about it (whether to learn more about the kink from someone who engages in it first-hand or to educate someone who might be closed off to the idea). With your help, we can help make the world a more sexually inclusive place.
Have you enjoyed a slave and Master dynamic before? Is bondage as a part of BDSM something you’d be interested in exploring? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below.
