How Do I Know Which Birth Control Is Right for Me? (With Dallas Barnes of Reya Health)
Birth control is so commonly used by people all over the globe, and yet, it somehow still remains to be a taboo topic. The truth is that it shouldn’t be. After all, refusing to talk about something so important in a relationship (or even a casual sexual encounter) is more harmful than anything.
This is why we’ve sat down today to chat with Dallas Barnes (she/her) of Reya Health, to open up the conversation on all the different types of contraception while helping vulva owners decide which option is best for them.
Here is the transcript of our podcast interview below. You can also download or stream the audio podcast here!
Follow Reya Health:
Instagram: @reyahealth
Between Our Thighs: Let’s talk birth control.
With plenty of hormonal and non-hormonal contraceptives on the market, it can be daunting to figure out which one is best for you. Actually, it can be difficult to even realize all the options you might even have to choose from!
That's why Reya Health was launched, a service for people with ovaries to gain personalized information on the best birth control options for their individual needs. Unlike what often happens at your doctor's, at Reya, you are prioritized and put at the centre of your birth control experience. You'll have expert support all throughout your birth control journey from start to finish... and every step in-between.
In fact, before we begin, I wanted to let our listeners know that we’re giving away a chance for a free subscription to Reya’s services! Just head over to our Instagram — @BetweenOurThighs — to enter! It will be running from Saturday, November 13th to Saturday, November 27th.
Now, let’s get to the stuff you’ve been waiting for. Today, we have the absolute pleasure of sitting down with Dallas Barnes, founder of Reya Health, to discuss everything from deciding on your best birth control options, the myths surrounding contraceptives, and even how the world will view sex post-pandemic.
Let’s get this conversation started. Hi, Dallas! How are you?
Dallas: I'm doing great. How are you?
BOT: I'm great! Did you want to start by telling us a little bit about yourself? Where you're located, what you do?
Dallas: Of course! My name is Dallas and my pronouns are she and her. I grew up in rural Ontario, I moved to Vancouver for about seven years and then, you know, the home roots were calling, so, I came back and I'm now in London, Ontario.
I am the founder and CEO of a women's health tech company called Reya Health and we help people find the right birth control option for them, and really navigate this trial and error process, as well as their journey through sexual health and wellness. We provide a digital platform to offer personalized information and support to really coach people throughout this experience, so that, ultimately, they can feel confident and comfortable with the birth control option that they choose and ultimately use.
BOT: That's amazing. What inspired you to launch Reya Health and why is your company so important to folks with vaginas?
Dallas: It really all stemmed from my own experience with birth control and just not being able to find one that worked with my body, my lifestyle, and really finding it difficult to find an option that I liked. This was a gruelling trial and error process over five, six years, and I tried multiple types; everything from everything from the pill to condoms, fertility awareness, the IUD, and multiple types of the pill, as well.
My body just reacted so adversely to [these] options. At one point, I was actually admitted to the hospital because my body was just reacting so negatively to an option that I was using.
BOT: Wow.
Dallas: This was the last straw for me [chuckles]. I was like, "This is insane. It should not be this difficult to find a birth control option that I like and that works with my body."
BOT: Mhmm.
Dallas: So, I ended up taking a step back, a break from birth control.
BOT: Yep.
Dallas: Then, I dove deep into researching and trying to learn as much as I could about birth control, about my body, how those two work well together and also why they're not working together now (or then, I should say) [Laughs]. Throughout that process, scouring scholarly journals and clinical articles and all of these things, I ended up finding a birth control option that I thought could work well for me.
I went to my doctor, asked for it, they wrote up the prescription, and that was one of the best birth control methods that I have ever used, and I used it for about three years, actually. That experience, in itself, was so empowering and just fulfilling, really; being able to take this health choice into my own hands.
BOT: Mhmm.
Dallas: Around the same time, actually, I began talking a little bit more about my experience to friends and people in my circle, and I quickly found out that I was not the only person that was experiencing hardships trying to find a contraceptive. I thought to myself, you know, if I can help people feel the same level of power and self-assurance in their contraceptive journey, then I've accomplished my life mission [laughs].
BOT: [Laughs] That's fantastic!
Dallas: So, fast forward, and the concept of Reya has changed a little bit since its [giggles] conception, if you will. We are now here to support people through their contraceptive counselling journey and really enable them throughout this process.
BOT: Mhmm, and you talking openly about this — I mean, a lot of people are not so comfortable talking about contraception and their contraception journey. Why do you think that in the 21st century, people are still uncomfortable talking about birth control, having sex, and sexual health?
Dallas: I think there are a few reasons why and, mind you, things are getting better every day. I'm sure you see it in your virtual community and in your circles, as well.
BOT: Yeah.
Dallas: People are becoming more comfortable, which is amazing, but of course, as you commented, there are these spots where we're not as open. I think, one: things take time.
BOT: Yep, yeah.
Dallas: You know, in this whole movement or revolution, if you will, or this progression to more open sexual conversations, people still have these connotations and these deeply-rooted thought processes and stigmas around these ideas. I think that does take a while — years, decades, to filter through that, unpack that, and open up about it.
So, there is that level of time there, but also, there's just not a lot of information and research in health and women's and vulva owners' health to begin with. When we talk about these things, it's like, there's a lot of unknowns.
BOT: Yeah.
Dallas: And I think that really inhibits conversations and free-flowing conversations.
BOT: And aside from the fact that one has hormones and one doesn't, what are the major differences between hormonal and non-hormonal birth control options? What are the general pros and cons of each?
Dallas: For sure. I should preface all of this by saying that I am not a medical professional and everything that I do share is based off of what I've learned and research that I have come across in this whole journey [laughs]. So, of course, you know, take what I say as you will, but— Of course, hormonal birth control methods, they contain synthetic hormones that, essentially, alter your menstrual cycle. So, it changes the way in which your body ovulates or not ovulates, and changes the way that it operates in that sense.
BOT: Mhmm.
Dallas: Non-hormonal [options] come in a few different ways. It could be barrier methods or tracking your ovulation. Some people find that these options are really great to remain more in tune with their natural cycle. It's also more approachable for people where it might be unsafe for them to use a hormonal method for whatever reason.
Hormonal options tend to be more effective methods of preventing pregnancy. They can also be a helpful player in managing certain symptoms, whether that be assisting somebody on their PCOS or endometriosis journey or with acne, painful periods, whatever it might be; they can come in handy and give a little bit more peace of mind. I know that this was my experience [laughs].
BOT: [Laughs]
Dallas: I was in my first years of my birth control journey. I had a serious case of pregnancy anxiety.
BOT: Yeah [Laughs].
Dallas: So, hormonal options really helped with that [laughs]. Just because I have a little bit more sense of security with them, it was less on me.
BOT: For sure, for sure.
Dallas: Really placing all faith in science [laughs].
Yeah, I think in terms of benefits and pros, it's really dependent on the individual and what the individual's goals are and preferences are. So, I'm going to leave it there.
BOT: Okay, yeah, and on that note, what are some of the biggest misconceptions surrounding birth control that you've come across?
Dallas: There are so many! One that's top of mind, and we just did a blog on it with Reya Health, actually, is emergency contraceptives and all of the myths that surround them. I think ECP — so, emergency contraceptive pills and other emergency contraception. Actually, a fun fact that I will plug in: a copper IUD is one of the most effective methods of emergency contraception.
BOT: Ohh...
Dallas: So, if you find yourself in a situation where you are at higher risk of pregnancy, or you've had unprotected sex, you can get a copper IUD inserted and it works immediately. So, it prevents pregnancy there, which is great.
BOT: Wow!
Dallas: And a lot of people don't know that. I think that's maybe not necessarily a myth, but it's a fun fact that I wish was more widely known because I think it could come in handy.
BOT: For sure.
Dallas: Of course, then it is a long-term solution, so someone might not be totally down for that, and the copper IUD does come with its own pros and cons, as well. So, being mindful of potential side effects and things, but it is non-hormonal, and that's a benefit to a lot of people.
Jumping back to your question [laughs], it's a very common one with hormonal options — people think or have heard that it can impact fertility long-term, and this is not the case. With the research that we have to date, hormonal birth control could influence your fertility on a short-term basis. So, as your body is getting back into a natural rhythm, if you go off the pill for instance or you remove your IUD, it might take your body a few months to get back into its natural rhythm of things.
So, if you're trying to get pregnant right after coming off the pill, you might just want to give yourself some time, a few month, about three months to [adjust].
BOT: Yeah.
Dallas: However long it is for you, but a similar timeframe to your body adjusting when you're first trying a birth control method. Your body does adjust when you're coming off of hormonal birth control, as well.
The research that we have today indicates that hormonal birth control does not impact your fertility long-term, so that's a plus. As well, as with emergency contraceptives, a lot of people believe that if you use it three or more times then it becomes ineffective and it doesn't work anymore for you, and that's totally not true. It doesn't matter how many times you take Plan B, for instance, it'll still work.
However, if you do find yourself using Plan B frequently, it might be a good option to think of a different method that's a little cheaper [laughs] and less stressful.
BOT: For sure.
Dallas: There's also this thought [that] if you are finding yourself in a position where you're using Plan B more frequently, that does translate to that you are increasing your odds of an unplanned pregnancy. Statistics and probability-wise, if you're having unprotected sex more, then you're at higher risk. But no, there's no science behind it not working after you try it three more times.
BOT: Did you walk us through the process of how you would help somebody that comes to Reya Health pick their birth control options?
Dallas: Of course, yeah. So, when a member interacts with Reya, we first take them through an intake process. We ask questions about their medical history, their past experience with birth control, preferences, lifestyle — all of these things that give our system a pretty comprehensive understanding of where they're coming from. Then, we have a matching algorithm that takes us information and presents the member with one to three birth control options that could work really well for them, and it explains why.
So, what in their profile led our system to suggest these options, how do those options work, why they're relevant for this particular individual, and what they should be prepared for when going to try one of these methods. I think that these things are often left out of the current contraceptive counselling journey, and we really want to meet people where they're at and present them with information that is personalized and relevant to their situation.
Oftentimes, doctors and medical professionals are really busy, they have full waiting rooms that they have to get to. They also have to know so much about so much.
BOT: Yep.
Dallas: What ends up happening is [that] they may only have 10 or 15 minutes with each patient, and that's really not enough time to dive deep into all the different options available, their potential side effects, that individual's preferences, et cetera. So they may prescribe a method that they're most familiar with or that they have free samples of, and that's not always what's best for that particular person.
There's often the case that individuals are then leaving these doctor's visits, feeling more confused, more alone in this process, and unsupported, given [that] there's a lack of follow-up. So with Reya, once we do present these options — in Ontario, we're working to expand this offering — we help individuals access their birth control through free doctor consultations and prescription delivery, as well as pointing them in the direction of accessing and getting their hands on non-hormonal options, if that's something that they're interested in. Then we provide personalized birth control use tracking and support.
So, helping them manage any side effects that they're experiencing, their boundaries when it comes to birth control, and having those frequent check-ins. Really just, you know, "Hey, how are you doing? We know that you just tried Alesse (for instance) a couple of months ago. How's that going for you?"
Let's have a conversation. I think this support is often not available in the current contraceptive counselling process.
BOT: For sure, yeah!
Dallas: That really is isolating, and it's frustrating for people when they do have questions. Then having to book another doctor's appointment or go online; it can present these barriers for people. They may stop using that option or use that option incorrectly, and it can open up a whole host of issues. They might [also] just be enduring side effects that they don't have to.
In my opinion, birth control healthcare, whatever it is, should not make you uncomfortable.
BOT: Yeah.
Dallas: If your birth control is making you feel uncomfortable, it's just not working. Fortunately, there are a lot of options out there, and you can find one that works for you. Side plug, we need more options, [we're] always looking for more, but with the options that we have right now, we can get pretty close to an ideal match for people. So, that's really exciting with Reya.
Our goal is really to enable people in their own health journey and support them in making decisions that work for them and that they are confident and excited about. I think that it's really monumental in a lot of situations and for a lot of people in their lives, and I think it can make an impact not only for their health, but in a lot of other areas.
BOT: A hundred percent. I was really young when I went on birth control because I have fibroids, and I remember, first just the pain and the suffering that you go through having fibroids. Then, finally, when I went to — and it was my gynecologist — she's like, "Okay, well, here. I think you should go on this one." It was kind of just, "Here's a prescription. If you notice anything weird, let me know."
But again, I was really young and I'd never been on birth control before. I don't know what's weird and what's not weird, and I ended up having to go to my mom [laugh], and having that awkward conversation with my mom, where I'm like, "This is kind of what's happening. Is that normal?" And she's like, "No, that's not normal, you should probably reach out." But there was no follow-up.
Dallas: Yeah.
BOT: So, I waited three months, just to see, and then [after] three months of it not working, [the doctor said], "Okay, here, try this one."
Dallas: Oh, I'm so sorry that that was your experience. Unfortunately, it's not uncommon.
BOT: [Laughs] Yeah.
Dallas: I hear these stories often and it's really too bad. I think birth control and a lot of medications in healthcare are prescribed very blindly, and it's just this trial and error. "Oh, that one didn't work? Okay, let's try this one!" [Laughs]
BOT: [Laughs] It's true, that's pretty much it.
Dallas: Yeah, and unfortunately, our healthcare system (in Canada anyway, and in our Western healthcare) it's largely complaint-driven. There isn't much follow-up, and if you do want that follow-up, you have to put the onus on yourself and complain, ultimately, that it's not working for you. It's really too bad. I would love to see a day where everyone feels supported and together in their health journey. I think that would be really useful.
BOT: Just to have that open conversation, even. To feel comfortable letting your doctors know what's working for you and what's not.
Dallas: Oh, yeah, you might — when I started on birth control, I was young, as well. I mean, what is young? But I didn't know a whole lot. I knew there was the condom and the pill. That was about it.
BOT: Mhmm.
Dallas: I didn't know, really, that there are different kinds of the pill. Even going into [it], I had some questions, but my family doctor was an older man who also saw my dad.
BOT: [Laughs]
Dallas: As many good intentions as I had going in to have a very productive conversation with my doctor, I froze. I was like, "Ah, wait, I actually don't want to talk about this with you. So, okay, quickly give me that prescription and I'm going to get out of here."
BOT: [Laughs] Yeah.
Dallas: [Laughs] That happens all the time and it's really too bad that people often feel unsafe with their medical professionals or in these clinical settings. They can be really intimidating. I totally get it.
So, we want to be able to provide and create space for people to feel safe to ask questions and figure out what works for them in an environment where they're empowered.
BOT: And I noticed some people feel even uncomfortable talking about birth control with their sexual partner, whether it's a long-term partner or just a casual hookup.
Dallas: Mhmm!
BOT: How do you think that folks can get more comfortable discussing their birth control options before using them with a partner?
Dallas: I think, at the core, it comes down to honesty and using language that promotes honest conversations. Saying things like "I feel," or "Why do you feel that way?," "How does this make you feel?" I think all of these things that open up space for a productive conversation and one that doesn't place blame on somebody.
I know it can be difficult at times.
BOT: Yep.
Dallas: Also, these conversations, especially around sexual health, wellness, birth control — it can be triggering for people. So really be mindful of the space that you're creating to limit that defence that people might go out with [laughs].
BOT: [Laughs] Yeah.
Dallas: I think it starts from just being honest in your own experience. It can be awkward, for sure, but even small things like "I'm on the pill." Even just like the way — okay. I think too often when there are situations of opposite-sex relations, the penis owner in this situation feels like it's not their place or their responsibility to engage in these discussions. So, they don't really think to ask or bring it up, and that can be isolating, for one...
BOT: Yeah.
Dallas: But also problematic in moving the needle forward and having these positive conversations. So, if there are any penis owners listening to this, ask! Have a conversation. It's like it's very common, normal, and I think cool. I love having birth control conversations with my identified male friends. It's lovely.
It's also like my, my mojo, you know; I find these conversations really fun, but, I think starting from a place of honesty can be really helpful.
BOT: For sure! In those discussions, do you find that there are some big concerns that often come up for either sex, either partner?
Dallas: Yeah, totally. For me, I guess I can relate it to my own personal experience. Birth control is expensive, it adds up. I also don't have insurance. So, when I was in a long-term committed relationship, I was footing that monthly bill
BOT: Yep.
Dallas: Halfway in, I was like, "This is dumb. This is for both of us." [Laughs]
BOT: [Laughs]
Dallas: So, I opened it up. I was like, "How would you feel if we split the birth control cost?" And they were great! They were like, "Yeah, totally. I'd be more than happy to do that. Why haven't we been doing that all along?" It was kind of a no-brainer to them.
BOT: That's awesome.
Dallas: Yeah, so refreshing and positive. So, we ended up going that way. Also, I had a pretty big difficulty remembering to take it. I was on the pill at this time and I had two alarms, and it would go off and I'm like, "Okay!"
BOT: [Laughs]
Dallas: I'd be caught in the middle of something and be like, "I'll take it in a minute. I'll take it in a minute," and then it'll just totally...
BOT: And then you forget! Yeah, I do the same thing [laughs].
Dallas: Yeah! That was happening so often that I brought it to my partner's attention and he was like, "Well, why don't I set an alarm on my phone?" Like, "Okay."
So, he had an alarm and I had an alarm and every day, when the alarm came on, he would either text me if we weren't together or he would be on me until I took it. That was to share the responsibility, because it is a shared responsibility, especially when you are in a committed partnership, if you are.
BOT: Yes!
Dallas: That was really refreshing and positive, in the sense that I felt so supported and together, like a team. It was great. I recommend that dual alarm system for anybody, it was really helpful.
BOT: Yeah!
Dallas: It really made our conversations around birth control more free and normal. I think [with] many other couples, it's this idea that, you know, condoms are uncomfortable or people don't want to use condoms, and that's frustrating. Thst's often problematic. I think the 'side effect conversation' comes up every once in a while. Not as much as it should.
I think vulva owners should be given more of an opportunity in having more of a safe space to speak about how birth control is making them feel, especially in their relationships. Sometimes that happens, and other times, they're not in that environment, but birth control is different for everybody.
BOT: Yeah, for sure.
Dallas: And everyone's own journey is very unique within it. Yeah, those are some of the things that often come up with couples, I find.
BOT: And how can Reya Health help out on this front?
Dallas: Love this!
So, first starters, actually, our platform, after suggesting options and going through options for somebody that could work well for them, we provide tips and tricks on how to have a focus conversation with medical professionals about the results that people receive from their birth control method.
BOT: Okay.
Dallas: And this can actually be taken back into relationships, as well. So, things like, "Hey, I'm thinking about getting a copper IUD. How do you feel about that?" or, "What do you know about such-and-such option? I heard this..." and presented it more as an opportunity for a discussion, rather than, "I want to try this option, give it to me."
BOT: Yeah.
Dallas: You know, the doctor or maybe a partner, might go on on guard a bit.
BOT: Mhmm.
Dallas: I think it goes for really any communication and conversation tactics [laughs].
BOT: [Laughs] Yeah, it's true!
Dallas: Present your opportunities to hear the other person out, for listening, for collaboration. These things can be really productive. With Reya, we also help individuals outline their boundaries. So, their birth control boundaries.
What I mean by this is going through and thinking about all the different outcomes that could happen when you try a birth control method, hormonal and non-hormonal. This could mean unwanted side effects. This could mean the cost of an option, whatever it might be. We take a pretty holistic approach on this, and even just how it impacts your relationships for instance, or your sex life, and outlining for that person. What are you willing to tolerate in terms of changes?
Let's have a check-in, see how you're doing right now, and then in maybe a month from now, let's revisit that. Okay, what are your relationships like, intimately, friendly, with your family? How are you feeling in terms of your skin, or your weight, or in your sex life? How's that going (and creating markers)? So, someone might feel like, "Okay, I'm getting an IUD and I know that a common side effect is cramping," for instance. "I'm really excited by the idea of this IUD and I'm hoping that it works for me, so maybe I am willing to tolerate cramping at a pain tolerance of, say, a seven for about a month or two."
BOT: Okay.
Dallas: And then at these different points, Reya Health checks in and it's like, "Okay, you've indicated in the past month that you've had some fours, maybe an eight here, but overall, you're hovering around like four or five in terms of pain and it seems to be decreasing as the weeks go on. Do you want to revisit your option? How are you liking it?"
Having these different markers in time to check in with yourself and see how things are going, and having a system that can provide information that is personalized to your body and your situation to coach, and support, and enable these conversations with yourself. It can be really helpful, as well. Ultimately, at the end of the day, we want to figure out if this option is working for you or not, and if it's not, that's okay.
Don't do something that makes you feel uncomfortable, [it's] easy as that [laughs]. If it is, sweet! That's sick, that's great, and let's keep moving. We're here to support you. So, ultimately, with Reya, we want to meet people where they're at and support them in whatever that means for them, having these focus conversations, and a focused lens on what makes that person an individual in their health process, and how that relates to birth control.
BOT: That's a breath of fresh air, really.
Dallas: [Laughs] Love it, yeah!
BOT: And unfortunately, though, sadly, birth control isn't necessarily accessible to everyone, even here in Canada (where we have free health care).
Dallas: Mhmm!
BOT: In your personal opinion, what are some ways that, as a nation, we can change this for the better and how that could also trickle effect into other countries who would be influenced by us?
Dallas: Yeah, I love this question. I think first and foremost, telehealth is really changing the game right now. It's certainly increasing access to healthcare across the board; you can sit from bed and talk to a doctor. That's so cool!
BOT: Yeah!
Dallas: You can get your birth control delivered to your door in discrete packaging, and it comes. You don't have to think about going back every three months to get that prescription refilled. That's awesome.
There are a lot of other ways where there still needs to be an improvement. For instance, I think that these telehealth companies need to push more for different birth control prescription deliveries, such as the patch or the ring.
BOT: Yeah.
Dallas: Having more options being delivered. Some are providing this, some are still just delivering the pill. There are companies now that are delivering condoms and other barrier methods, and there's fertility awareness tracking systems out there. There are a lot of digital tools that are making birth control more approachable and accessible for people.
I think when we get into more remote communities, the access significantly decreases. One, internet bandwidth is not equal to, say, if you're in Toronto or Vancouver.
BOT: Yeah.
Dallas: And that can make these doctor's visits and doctor consultations spotty and impossible sometimes, or least difficult for people. I think that there should be financial subsidies for people in these remote communities, for communities who have limited access to healthcare, in the sense of travel costs.
Some remote communities might not have medical professionals who are trained for IUD or implant insertions, for instance. So, they have to travel out of [the] community to access those services, and that's costly.
BOT: Yeah.
Dallas: Oftentimes, that comes out of pocket. I think that if the IUD is the best option for somebody, they should have equal access to get it as me or somebody living in the city. I think healthcare does often fall on the government's shoulders, and I think more financial subsidy in that area would be really positive and really helpful for a lot of people.
BOT: For sure, yeah.
Dallas: I think we need to take a closer look at our sexual education systems within schools, as well. That could be a whole other podcast conversation [laughs].
BOT: [Laughs] For real!
Dallas: But this is something that I am really passionate about, and I think that we need to pay more attention to what we're learning and teaching.
BOT: Yeah. Where do you see, or how do you see, sexual wellness changing in the post-pandemic world?
Dallas: Oh, my gosh, so many things. One, I really think it has been just speaking, well, from my own experience, but also from chatting with people and being in this space, I think it's presented a lot of opportunities for people to explore their solo sex lives more. You know, given the distance and sex culture during the pandemic (and even post-pandemic), it's different for everybody. Everybody has their own boundaries when it comes to it.
BOT: Mhmm!
Dallas: But, especially during the pandemic, there was a lot of distance between couples and distance between people, so sex largely went online.
BOT: Yep.
Dallas: I think this gave a lot of opportunity for increased sexual communication, whether it be sexting or video chats, and I think that was really helpful in people exploring their desires and learning how to share that verbally with other people, with their partners, or their hookups, whatever it might be. I think that's therapeutic in a way, and inspiring and fun.
Something that I really like to talk about [laughs].
BOT: [Laughs]
Dallas: I'm sure you can comment on this, as well. Maybe it's just the virtual community that I'm involved in, but we are now more than ever online and having online conversations, and more and more, those are becoming sex-positive conversations and people sharing stories in these areas.
BOT: For sure.
Dallas: I think that's really positive for people to see their story or their experience related to in others and from the safety of their home. People do feel safe in these online communities; sometimes, of course, there are some that are very problematic as well, but...
BOT: Yeah, yeah, of course.
Dallas: It does present more room for people to connect with others all around the world and learn from others' experiences. I think that's really cool.
BOT: Yeah, and as people are becoming more comfortable talking about it behind a screen, they're also gradually building up that comfort level of talking about it face-to-face with other people, in-person.
Dallas: Yeah, yeah, for sure, and if you're in a long-distance relationship and you had to bring your sex life online, now, getting back into in-person relations — as you say — people might be a little bit more comfortable sharing what they are thinking or what they like. That's great for your own personal pleasure, but also the pleasure of the group.
BOT: Exactly. Yeah, the collective pleasure.
Dallas: Yeah, exactly. Love it.
BOT: At Between Our Thighs, our ultimate goal is sex positivism and, of course, that idea of sex-positivity is different for each person. So, I want to know what does it mean to you?
Dallas: It means so many things, and I think it's changing for me whether I go through different points in my life or as I grow into what a sexual being is for me. Well, a little side story: So, recently, I've been asking people in my life how they would describe their relationship to sex.
It's kind of an abstract thought, and I'm not looking for any particular answer. When I ask people this, whether it's people in the sex and wellness space or just friends, even, or partners of mine that I have. Asking them this question, I think in itself, is sex-positive because we are now able to have these spaces where this conversation is normal and is able to take place. I think that's awesome.
BOT: Yeah!
Dallas: Also, the answers that I get are so fun. Sometimes people are maybe a little taken aback, but everything from self-expression to play and pleasure, like all of these discussions and topics that are coming from this one simple question are so cool and [it's] refreshing to hear people all from all different walks of life really reflect on what their relationship with sex is.
I think it's a really cool time to be in. So, ultimately, I think sex positivity comes down to feeling safe and confident in your sex journey, but also being able to grow within it and change within that and feeling expressive in your sexual being I think is really great. It does come down to feeling safe, as long as you're not hurting anybody else or whatever it might be.
BOT: Yep!
Dallas: Finding yourself in a position where you are confident and comfortable, I think that's sex positivity to me. It's all positive [laughs].
BOT: [Laughs] I love that! I love that so much.
Dallas: My answer wasn't super direct, but what is?
BOT: No, it was good, it was great. On that note, how can somebody become more sex-positive?
Dallas: I think— [laughs] I think taking the time to be patient with your body and yourself. Also, being mindful that everywhere everybody is coming from, in terms of their own sexual self, is different. You never know where they have been in the past and where they're going and creating space. Again, I feel like a broken record, but a safe space where they can feel themselves.
BOT: Yeah.
Dallas: I think that's great for the other person, but also, it goes again with your solo sex, self, creating boundaries where you feel that. Feel safe and comfortable, and then being able to grow within there, and learn, and talk to people about it if that's what you want to do. I think being mindful of where everybody is coming from, and everyone's journey within this is unique.
BOT: For sure. Do you have any concluding thoughts?
Dallas: Yeah! A big part of Reya is we are working to create a community around birth control, sexual health, and the idea that everyone's experience within this is unique. Yes, my story can be relatable to other people, but, ultimately, remembering that we are all individuals and we're all on our own individual health journey. If we can come together and celebrate the uniqueness of health, I think that's where really cool things happen.
So, we love chatting with Reya members and birth control users. The best way to engage with us and have these conversations is through our Instagram @ReyaHealth, as well as on our website. It's super easy: www.reyahealth.ca. This is where people can interact with our platform and find a birth control option and a birth control journey that they feel confident and comfortable with.
BOT: Amazing. Thank you so much, Dallas. You've left us with so much information, and it was great talking to you.
Dallas: Yeah, it was awesome talking to you. Thank you so much for having me. This was a lot of fun.
