Benefit Monkey and the World of Ethical Pornography
M (he/him), a producer at the porn production company Benefit Monkey, knows that ethical pornography is the best pornography. In fact, in an ideal world, it would be the only form of pron available. Aside from the benefits of watching porn for the viewer themselves, choosing to only consume this media also ensures that the performers are not chosen based on being slim, white heterosexual couples, putting a spotlight on large, circumcised penises and neutral-looking vulvas. Not to mention the fact that there is typically a sole focus on male pleasure in non-ethical films, leaving female pleasure as an afterthought (if a thought, at all).
Today, M sits down with us to talk about the world of pornography, why the future of the industry needs to be ethical, and answers all of our community’s big questions.
Here is the transcript of our podcast interview below. You can also download or stream the audio podcast here!
Between Our Thighs: Is it okay to watch porn?
There’s always been a big debate on this topic, especially because most mainstream pornography streaming services are depicting sex in a totally unrealistic way. From idealizing slim, white heterosexual couples to putting a spotlight on large, circumcised penises and neutral-looking vulvas, there is typically a sole focus on male pleasure. Everyone else, if represented at all, is generally done so in a very fetishized way. Put simply, the porn industry, overall, has a lot of work to do to ‘get better.’
Naturally, this is not the porn we at Between Our Thighs are watching. While you might find something in the midst of streams, a video that can get your pulse racing, it does not mean that it’s ethical. This is what Benefit Monkey — a pornography company based in Switzerland — has been doing for the past year.
Today, we’re chatting with one of their Monkeys, M, who is here to talk about the world of pornography, why the future of the industry needs to be ethical, and answers all of our community’s big questions.
Benefit Monkey: Hi, nice to meet you and thank you for letting me talk to your podcast.
BOT: You're very welcome. Did you want to tell us a little bit about yourself? Where you're located, what you do?
M: We are Benefit Monkeys, we are an ethical porn production based in Switzerland. We [have made] ethical porn [for] one year; it's our first explore[ation] into the adult industry.
BOT: That's exciting!
M: Yeah [laughs], totally, a new exploration. We are a company made by a few different kind of artists. We have, in our production, directors: movie directors, short films, music videos; painters and photographers; musicians; writers, screenwriters; graphic designers; designers; make-up artists.
BOT: [Laughs] a whole menagerie!
M: [Laughs] Yeah, yeah! We have a lot of monkeys behind [the scenes] and we started talking as an artful collective, at the beginning and we liked this view of us.
BOT: Yeah.
M: It's not a single person — [it's a] few people, a few monkeys, actually.
BOT: It's a unit of monkeys [laughs].
M: [Laughs] A few monkeys that each bring to the industry, something new. I hope so, or we hope so.
BOT: For sure. What inspired you guys, all the monkeys, to get into the sex industry?
M: Actually, it was in an unexpected [way] because we are all people who are really open-minded and really sex-positive, so we didn't [think] about the sex industry as a sex industry. No, we started with some art productions — art installments — and there was nudity in it. There [were] naked people and people had sex, and people started talking about us like [we were] porn. And we're saying, "But we're not [making] porn, we're just expressing sexuality!"
BOT: Yeah, yep.
M: Then, from this, we started to see the growth on our social networks, on our website, because of porn. Because people [came] looking to us for porn. So, we started thinking about this and we started thinking, Why don't we [take] our [methods] of shooting content, to shoot art, to shoot everything, and put this in the porn industry?
BOT: Yeah.
M: We could give to the audience, something that looks like a mainstream product, but behind this, there is not the actual standard industry. There are more human [aspects]. We involve people inside. We are many heads behind this project. So, yeah, that was the first beginning.
BOT: Wow, so it's a very three-dimensional project with everybody involved.
M: Yeah, absolutely. We involve every single person that could be involved in this project.
[At] this very moment, I am talking to two actresses and three writers that are based in Hungary and in [the] Czech Republic for the new videos that we'll shoot next week or in two weeks.
BOT: Wow!
M: It's really complex, because you have to manage a few people, not just one [laughs], and you have the agency that used to work with other porn productions. We don't ask [them], "Okay, we just want one blonde girl with another blonde girl" or something like this. We ask, "Okay, can you send me a girl that could be interested in shooting like this, and that could be involved in the project since the beginning? We don't have the story yet, we want to talk with everyone, we want to bring up the story together."
Every time it's difficult because they're not used to [this], so you have to take the performer and really bring them to a new perspective, to a new point of view. You have to tell them, "You are not here for the performance, you're here because you're a good performer, you know this industry, you know what people want to see, but also, what you want. What you want to express in the scene. Why you want to do this, with who you want to work with. Do you prefer girl-girl scenes or do you prefer boy-girl scenes, solo scenes? What's the story, what's the main idea you have behind [it]?" That's the point, that's the work, and then we start working on this.
BOT: What does the writing process itself look like? How do you, and the writers, and the actors — everybody — sit together and write the story? What does that process look like?
M: Usually, we have one writer — one or two, [but] usually one — for a project. When we have the project in mind (I'm talking about the new project because it's more simple to explain because it's right in my mind at this moment).
BOT: Okay [laughs].
M: [Laughs]. We have this scene, [where], in our minds, we were like, "We want to do something cinematic, but what? Who would we involve in [it]?" So, we took over a writer, one of our monkeys.
BOT: Yes.
M: One that's more involved in cinema, and we said, "Okay, now we have to do something more based on the European market because we are more focused on the US." Now, we are to take a step back to Europe, to our countries. So, we called one of the main stars right now — it's Martina Smeraldi — [she's] Italian and a really good performer. Another girl, called Silvia Soprano, she's Italian too, but lives in Spain, so [there's] a lot of travel here [laughs].
BOT: [Laughs] A lot of travel!
M: Yeah, and we start[ed] thinking of this all together on a Skype call. We wanted to do something cinematic, but what [did] we want to talk about?
We wanted to talk about what is happening right now, all political stuff, or we wanted to talk about ourselves, about feelings. Which, [it's] all feelings, in the end, because they always win. It's always a winning choice [laughs].
BOT: [Laughs] It's true.
M: Yeah, feelings always work. Everyone has [them], it's really easy to involve someone with [them].
We started thinking about this and what the feeling was about. We chose something weird, [which] you will see next week, when it will be released. We started thinking about this and then developing the scene. We are focusing on writing, or are we focusing on the cinematic aspects? The lighting, what camera we can use, and in which way do [the performers] want to be seen on-screen?
That's the writing process, actually. It's not very, very complex, it's just really [about] talking with other people, talking a lot. Really, don't think [of] it like the industry; we have, of course, some standards that we have to meet, but it's more like people talking about something they like to do.
BOT: Of course, and I think that translates very well into the media that you produce, whether it's a shorter video or a cinematic piece. You can tell the difference.
M: I hope so, I really hope so!
BOT: [Laughs].
M: [Laughs] Yeah, we always, always try to let the actresses — we are mostly doing lesbian videos, so I'm mostly talking about actresses, but we also have a [few] productions of boy-girl scenes, but it's really few scenes on our portfolio.
BOT: Yeah.
M: It's like, two percent of scenes.
BOT: Oh, okay.
M: Yeah, really, really small. But, we always wanted to show that people really enjoy what we are doing, not only for sex, but the whole environment must be joyful.
BOT: I agree.
M: That's the main point. We don't focus too much on the performance. Of course, sex in a scene, it's always a performance. Always. So, it's not romantic sex, even when [it looks like] romantic sex on-screen.
BOT: Yeah [laughs].
M: It's a fiction[alized] romance.
BOT: Exactly.
M: So, we know that, and we face this, but we try to put the joy [of[ doing this stuff under [viewers'] eyes.
BOT: Yeah, make it believable.
M: Yeah, make it believable, right!
BOT: What are the benefits of watching ethical pornography?
M: Well, the benefit is, most of all, for the people who [are] doing this. It's a safe environment.
BOT: Mhmm.
M: You feel safe, you don't have to worry about the difference of payment, [the] difference in how you are treated on set. There's no discrimination about anything — we don't choose a performer for skin colour, or measure[ments], or something like these. Everyone on set is really trying to be a family, a little monkey family every time.
BOT: [Laughs] That's great!
M: Yeah, so that's the real benefit, even for the audience. I think, if you see something that's created by people who [have] really enjoyed this [filming process], or really loved to do what you are looking at, you are feeling it.
BOT: Mhmm.
M: So, I think the benefit for the audience is that it's a more involving product, but the major benefit is for the industry, because an actress or an actor could be really peaceful. They can arrive on set without any worries and that's the most important thing for us, I think. That's my opinion.
BOT: Yeah, and we really should be conscious about that. I mean, in the non-ethical porn industry, there's unfair working conditions, some of the actors aren't consenting.
M: Yeah, yeah.
BOT: There's just so much [that's wrong with it].
M: We didn't face this kind of situation, but we are in porn just for one year, so we're very young.
BOT: Yeah.
M: We know about this, of course. We know some actresses and some actors that had [these] situations or [experienced] really, really unprofessional behaviours on set. We know this and we try to avoid this, one hundred percent. If there is something that you, as an actor or an actress, don't like on our set, you say "Stop" and we stop. We stop the production, we stop the scene.
Actually, also because we are very young, we need to be known for being right. So, when we approach someone who doesn't know us and maybe is really used to working with very big productions with nobody on set (just the director and a script), very [few] faces, they don't know who the monkey is. They don't know [laughs]. The little Instagram page is from 2019.
BOT: [Laughs] Yeah.
M: We have to explain and, always, the best way to explain is through testimonials. So, I always say to a new actor or a new actress, "Call your friends. You know a lot of people in this industry." In this sex industry, it's quite small, actually.
BOT: Oh, okay.
M: It's a small world, at least in Europe, so everyone knows everyone else [laughs].
BOT: [Laughs] Word travels quickly.
M: Yeah! Of someone you can work with, or [have] worked with, or your friends worked with. It's really easy to [get] information about someone that is in the industry. So, we always say, "Look, [if] you're not sure if you want to shoot with us because you don't know us, call your friends. Call everyone who worked with us and ask. Then, [form] your opinion, [make] your choice, but ask everyone."
We don't say, "Oh, come with us! We are good, we treat you right." It's not our word that means [anything], it's the other people's words.
BOT: For sure! And how can an everyday person who enjoys watching porn, know whether or not the media they're consuming has been ethically produced?
M: Actually, [at] this very moment, I don't think you can, a lot of the time.
BOT: Yeah.
M: There's more mainstream porn [going] by non-ethical [standards] or non-ethical production. So, actually, I don't think if someone goes on a porn site and, if he doesn't put on the keywords 'ethical porn,' it's difficult [for him to] know if he is watching ethical porn. But that's our point: our major point is to produce something that looks like mainstream [porn], one hundred percent. So, actually, our goal — but it's [a] really, really, really big goal and I know it's almost impossible, but we're hoping to do this in the future — is that every scene you [see] on a Tube, on a website, on a paid site, or on every kind of porn streaming service, [will have] been shot ethically.
BOT: That would be ideal.
M: Yeah [laughs], because we don't have to be a category. Ethical porn is not a category, it has to be a choice or a way of shooting. I think that's the main point. If actors, actresses, producers, writers, make-up artists — everyone who's on set — feels [good] in the moments of shooting [a scene], that's ethical for us. That's the main point.
It doesn't matter if we have the 'ethical' brand or just the Benefit Monkey. The important thing [is] that everyone feels safe and feels good to work with us, because that's the way we will survive.
BOT: For sure. On that note, what are some of the harms of watching non-ethical porn, and why should people care about making an effort to research and seek out only ethically produced pornographic material?
M: I think, for [the] audience, the main problem is the representation of sex.
BOT: Mhmm.
M: In porn, also in ethical porn, sex is always a representation. It's always fiction. So, when you are watching porn, [it] focuses most of all on young people watching porn. We say eighteen years old, but we all know that—
BOT: It's younger.
M: It's also younger people who are watcing porn.
BOT: Yeah, yup.
M: So, if someone who is not very used to sex, or is just discovering his body or her body, is [seeing] every day a representation of sex that is more hardcore, it's like athletic sex (the one you see on porn). It's not real. You can't [keep this] in your mind; you build in your mind the idea that this is the real sex. This is the main problem, I think, because this can bring really unhealthier problems.
I can see the performance attitude that an actor has onset. I cannot have that in real life; I'm not an athlete. I can see what is happening on-screen.
BOT: Yeah.
M: But it's a movie. It's always a movie.
BOT: It's not a reflection of reality.
M: Yeah, it's absolutely not. Even in ethical porn.
BOT: Yeah.
M: People are enjoying this, [they're] really have[ing] fun doing this, but it's like a sport. They're playing something; it's a game.
BOT: Yeah, for sure.
M: It's a game, yeah. What you're seeing, it's a game, and sex in real life, it's not a game — it involves feelings, it involves our needs. So, that's the main problem, I think, of watching non-ethical porn. Or, at least, there's no disclaimers that say 'this is a representation.' Only on hardcore movies, there is a disclaimer, and that's weird because I don't think there is something that is more kinky than something else.
BOT: [Laughs] Yeah!
M: If you go on a Tube and write 'bondage,' you will always see the disclaimer at the beginning: "All the actors involved in this stuff — blah, blah, blah, blah."
BOT: [Laughs] Yeah.
M: If you write 'straight sex' or something like this, or 'everyday sex,' you will see a representation, but will [not] see reality, but no one said this. That's weird.
BOT: [Laughs] It's true!
M: That's the main problem. So, at least, we cannot do a lot about this because it's more about the information. We can promote our point of view, our vision on media. We can promote our social media, to some testimonials to actresses, to other production [companies], but it's people who have to know what [they are] watching.
BOT: There's only so much [you can do].
M: [Laughs] Yeah!
BOT: [Laughs] We actually have some questions from the Between Our Thighs community. Would you be open to answering some of them?
M: Of course, yeah, absolutely!
BOT: So, the first question we have is: How do you separate 'work sex' from 'home sex' and are romantic partners typically okay with their significant other working in the sex industry?
M: Okay, that's a difficult question, yeah.
BOT: [Laughs].
M: Actually, for the sex itself, it's not very difficult. It's really easy to separate 'work sex' and real-life sex because, as I said, when you're shooting on-screen, on camera, it's sport; it's like playing football or it's a game. It's really easy for your mind to say, "Okay, I'm doing this. It's like playing an instrument."
BOT: Okay, yeah.
M: When we end the song, it ends. It's finished.
BOT: [Laughs]
M: So, it's not really difficult to separate the real-life sex that you have with your partner, that's you're in with your brain. The more specific parts of the body involved in real-life sex is the brain — so, it's not really difficult.
BOT: Okay!
M: Yeah.
Partners, well, I've never really had the experience where partners aren't involved in our business, too.
BOT: Okay.
M: I've always [had] partners that are in [the] art industry, where we took nude photos, did nude videos. They're always very, very used to nudity, so I don't know, actually, how [one] can react, but I think that if you're sex-positive, if you can understand that what you're doing is a job, it's [a] game, it's not real, there's not [any] big stuff or question[ing].
BOT: So, it's different than feeling as if you're being cheated on.
M: Yeah, absolutely! Absolutely, because I am — at least, in my opinion — when you're cheating, you're cheating with your mind.
BOT: Yes, yeah.
M: So, that's the main point for me.
BOT: Another question we have is: In situations where a performer with a vagina is not becoming wet or aroused, even with foreplay, how do you handle penetration with either a penis or sex toy, and still pretend to experience pleasure?
M: Oh, we don't! We don't, we don't do penetration in that case.
BOT: Okay.
M: We stop and yeah, it never happens. I think it's more easy that it happens to a man, that they don't get aroused on set, but in both cases, we stop the production. We do out, we drink something, we just forget to be on [the topic of] work. We are going out with friends; that must be the idea of the day.
So, if you're not ready for the scene, if you're not feeling good, we don't do the scene. It's not the priority. You always have one or two days for doing the scene.
BOT: So, there's no faking pleasure? You just wait until everyone is in the right headspace and in the mood sexually.
M: Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely, it's very important because I think that if you're faking, you can see it. You can see it on your video. Of course, it happens that orgasms are fakes — it happens, but you can see it. The most important [thing] is really the joy of doing the scene is not faking. That's the most important because an orgasm can be faked, of course.
Also, it's very stressful being on set, being on camera, but as a performer, I think — as I can see — it's the mind. It's always the minds of people. They have to enjoy the situation, to enjoy everything. If the orgasms don't happen, they can fake it. Yeah, you can't control that [laughs].
BOT: [Laughs] Yeah.
M: You cannot control that.
BOT: Another question we have is: Overall, what do your family and friends think of your career path and do people typically react better to finding out that their friend or family member is a producer or writer, as opposed to finding out they actually are performing in the porn?
M: In my personal life, I was very lucky for this, because my parents — also, I'm young, I'm twenty-nine years old — so, I had to say to my parents, "I'm doing this right now" [laughs].
BOT: [Laughs]
M: And they didn't react, they just asked me, "Are you happy with this?"
BOT: Mhmm.
M: So, "Yes, I am." And all of our company has similar situations because we all come from open-minded families or sex-positive families.
BOT: That's great!
M: We didn't face the problems of working with sex. We really didn't think about this, we just said, "Okay, we're doing this right now."
BOT: Mhmm.
M: [They asked,] "Are you feeling safe? Are you feeling okay with doing this?"
"Yes."
"Okay, that's the main [thing]."
Yeah, I think it could be easier for a parent, for someone in your family, if you're not involved in the scene personally on-screen and if you're not a performer. I'm not a performer, so I don't know one hundred percent how a family can react.
BOT: Yeah.
M: But, I think it's a little bit easier, it's just a psychological thing, because if you don't see your family member on-screen, I think it could be easier.
BOT: [Laughs] It's easier as the family member, yeah.
M: [Laughs] Yeah.
BOT: That makes sense.
M: It's just my opinion, it's just my thoughts, so I really don't have experience [of that] — I don't have any personal experience of this kind, so I cannot express one hundred percent.
BOT: And that actually leads into the next question, which is: What is the draw to choose sex work or working in the porn industry, over other jobs available out there?
M: As I said, we didn't choose this [laughs], so...
BOT: [Laughs] Yeah, it chose you.
M: Yeah! It was a series of circumstances that brought us to porn, but I don't think there is really, really a big difference. If you work with your body, even if you play football or are doing porn, you have to stay fit, you have to stay healthy. If you work with your brain, you do the same in [the] sex industry as [with] businessmen or producers, or a writer. You have to use your mind and work with it in the same way you would do it in [an] insurance company or something like this [laughs].
BOT: [Laughs] Yes!
M: I don't think there is so much [of a] difference.
BOT: And the next question we have is — I'm not sure if you're able to answer this because you mentioned that you're not a performer, but — How do performers typically handle being recognized while out in public? Do folks often approach them or make uncomfortable interactions?
M: I can answer this because I walk on the street a lot with a lot of the performers [laugh].
BOT: [laughs] Okay!
M: Yeah, so I saw this situation [that comes] to mind, in Budapest last year. I was in the street with Alexis Crystal and we just [walked] out of Starbucks [after getting a] coffee and there were a few guys who were watching her, like, "I know that girl, but I don't know if I really know her" [laughs].
BOT: [Laughs] "I know her from somewhere!"
M: [Laughs] Yeah! "I know her from somewhere."
But I don't think there really is a big problem, because as I saw, Alexis was happy [about] this and so many performers are happy [about] this. If the people approach politely, they're very, very happy. If people approach to politely, you're not happy [regardless of] the work you do.
BOT: Of course.
M: [Laughs] I think, mostly for the people who recognize you, it's the problem because some people [are] afraid of saying, "Oh, I know him for a scene—"
BOT: [Laughs] Yeah.
M: "I know him or I know her because I saw it on the Tube."
BOT: Yeah [laughs].
M: So, maybe the question would be on the other side, you know? [Laughs].
BOT: Are they embarrassed or are they uncomfortable?
M: Yeah, are you feeling uncomfortable [for] recognizing a porn actor or pron actress on the street? [Laughs].
BOT: And to admit it.
M: Yes! For me, yes, because even when I was in the industry, I remember once [that] I saw Sasha Grey in Milan.
BOT: Oh, okay!
M: Yeah, it was [many] years ago. I was in university and she just stopped in the street. She was there, I think, for a discotheque or DJ stuff — I don't remember, actually — but I was in the cathedral square in Piazza del Duomo and I saw her. I was like, "Oh, my God! She's Sasha Grey!"
BOT: [Laughs].
M: So, I didn't feel afraid of this [laughs].
BOT: And you approached her?
M: No, because there were too many people approaching her.
BOT: Oh [laughs], so you had to stay back.
M: Yeah, it was like a stay. It was like approaching Bruce Springsteen [laughs].
BOT: A celebrity!
M: Yeah, it was really difficult to approach.
BOT: [Laughs].
M: But yeah, if I had the chance, I would have. Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
BOT: So, the final question we have is: With movements like #MeToo coming to light in recent years, and even the recent allegations against the actor James Franco removing protective shields between him and his co-stars during sex scenes so that, essentially, he was sexually assaulting the actresses with legitimate sexual acts, how does Benefit Monkey ensure that all performers are abiding by your ethics? How do you create a genuinely safe environment for all of your performers?
M: Most of all, we have rules on set, of course. Before every scene, we talk about everything with the performers, with the director, and everyone on set, so there is more familiarity on set. Really, [it would be] difficult for something [to happen], that crosses boundaries. It's really difficult because if you are doing to a set where there [are] people you're seeing for the first time and you have to have sex with this guy to this girl [that] you never met, I think that would be more difficult to control, but we always do this as the last part.
When we are going on sex, we already [know] each other. If a performer is uncomfortable with another performer, they say it and they say it in privacy.
BOT: That's good.
M: There was a time where I had to fire an actor because of [un]professional behaviour, but I didn't say [to] him that the actress approached me. It happened outside the screen, outside the set, but I didn't say that — I said, this is a situation that I don't like, so we decided to cancel your performance.
BOT: Okay.
M: That's all. If this would happen on set, that would be a totally different [thing], also because they sign a contract where they vouch that they [won't] do something that will harm another performer or anyone on set.
BOT: Okay.
M: Not even physically, but also psychologically.
BOT: That's so important.
M: Yeah! There is a formal agreement, so if anything happens on set and we cannot control it, it becomes a legal question.
BOT: Yeah.
M: So, it would be a bigger problem for everyone. That's the point. You have to feel really safe on our set, that's the main point. You have to feel protected from the agreement, from the contract, for everything.
Also, another rule we have [is] that [while] usually, on set, they have blood tests for only the performers, only who is involved directly in the sex scene. We don't do this. We ask for everyone [who] is one set, who is physically on set, [for their] blood test. Now, COVID tests too, but with the vaccine, this will be—
BOT: Hopefully, that part will be gone soon.
M: Yeah, it will fade, I think [laughs].
BOT: [Laughs].
M: Also, because my nose is [numb] right now [laughs].
BOT: Oh, I can imagine!
M: But we always ask everyone on set [for their] blood test, because who knows what can happen when the cameras are off.
BOT: Yeah.
M: Maybe there is a love matching or a stroke of passion between the make-up artist and the main performer.
BOT: [Laughs].
M: I don't know, you really don't know. You can't control people. You can't control humans.
BOT: It's true! [Laughs].
M: If something happens, it's also a problem for the career of the actor or for the career of the make-up artist in this part, for everyone who is involved! So, if you are on set, you have to be healthy. You have to prove this and we check it. We have a fourteen-day policy [where] you have to have a blood test that [is] not older than fourteen days and for COVID, it's forty-eight hours.
We are protecting our performers and everyone on set with legal agreements, performer agreements, with contracts, and with blood tests. In every way [that] we can control.
BOT: That's important, and I think people that are not in the industry sometimes have this awful mentality of, "Well, you're in the porn industry and you essentially have sex for a living, so these things shouldn't bother you." But, at the end of the day, just because these performers are consenting to have real sex on camera, it doesn't mean that they're consenting to all sexual activities, or if somebody has an STI."
M: Absolutely, absolutely! Yeah, and there is also, in the contract — which is quite [typical] in the porn industry, actually, a lot of companies have this — is something like a list of things you agree on doing in the performance. If you do it, okay, if you don't, it's okay. For example, if you're an actress that is not comfortable to have anal sex, or anal stimulation, or vaginal stimulation with fingers or with toys, you're not comfortable with this, you'll sign it [and] write it down: "I'm not comfortable with this stuff." You never will be forced [to] do this because [the] director will see the contract, of course, before the scene and also, you will know the director and the other performers in many meetings before the actual shooting. There is time to express what you are comfortable with, what you're not.
BOT: That's amazing.
M: I think that this is what we can do to guarantee a safe environment. It never happened, right now, but that doesn't mean that it could never happen.
BOT: Yeah, that's true. Things happen sometimes.
M: Yeah, yeah, things happen. So, the thing we can do is protect everyone with a formal agreement, with tests. Actually, with just knowing each other; you know, sometimes, it's more important to get out and drink something with the guy who will work with you, than signing a contract. You go outside, you see this person outside the set, and you can see if you're comfortable to shoot with them or not. You like them, you don't. You know, there's really, really a lot of things a person [can] think about another person that they will not say to you.
BOT: They become more of a real person than just a co-worker.
M: Yeah, exactly.
BOT: Yeah.
M: And it could be a friend, also. I have a lot of friends that I made in this industry, right now, and some of them are my colleagues now in my company, too. Everything was born of: "okay, let's [get a] drink before shooting."
BOT: Yeah!
M: Or, "Okay, you're from this city? I'm from this city, too. Let's see each other and talk outside of Instagram," you know? Outside of social networks, just face-to-face.
BOT: It's like going out for coffee on a Friday night after work with your co-workers.
M: Yeah, absolutely!
BOT: Yeah.
M: Yeah, it's the same stuff.
BOT: [Laughs].
M: And something, it's really, really important, because, you know, people have different points of view. It's not the character you will see on [their] Instagram pictures, on Twitter.
BOT: It's the real person, not the actor or actress.
M: Yeah!
BOT: So, for Between Our Thighs, our ultimate goal is sex-positivism and, of course, that idea of sex-positivity can mean different things to different people. So, what does it mean to you?
M: As I said, I come from a family that is really sex-positive, and we all are. We all are in my company. That may be because we founded this company and are doing what we are doing. So, I never saw sex [as] something weird or, you know, outside of life. Sex is like breathing, it's part of our lives. It's [one of the most] natural things there is. We are all born because of sex, so...
BOT: It's true!
M: It's really difficult for me to imagine something that is not sex-positive.
In Switzerland, there is [a] lot of not open-minded people. In Italy, [there is] a lot, too, so I face, every day, people who [are] not sex-positive at all.
BOT: Mhmm.
M: They are afraid to show their sexuality or everything that is involved in sex. Even a sight, you know, you see someone who likes you at your work station, and you feel afraid of this. That's a thing that I am facing every day.
Actually, the only thing that I can say is just being yourself. You don't have to think about why I have to be concerned about what other people think about me, because I have these sexual attitudes about sexuality.
BOT: Yeah.
M: That's not the point. You are, yourself, within your sex life. I think, just being yourself is the only thing you can do and that's the only thing I fight for.
BOT: Yeah, I agree, one hundred percent. So, you kind of answered the question, but how can somebody become more sex-positive themselves, or towards other people?
M: I think, just being more self-confident.
BOT: Yeah.
M: Don't bother [with] what other people think of you. I think that's the main way.
BOT: For sure. Do you have any concluding thoughts?
M: No, actually, I don't. I'm very happy to [have] spoken with you.
BOT: Me, too! It was really nice chatting.
M: If I can do some advertising for my company? [Laughs].
BOT: Of course, yeah! Let us know your website, your social media — anything!
M: It's BenefitMonkey.com. Go on Instagram, it's @TheBenefitMonkey, on Twitter it's @MonkeyBenefit. Follow us for our content, follow our performers. Give us feedback, because we are really, really young; we have to grow, we have to know ourselves. Really, we need feedback. Go on the website, go on Twitter and Instagram. We are also on Facebook, but you can't post anything there, so... [Laughs].
BOT: And I'll include all the links in the description of this podcast, so it's all in one spot.
M: Oh, thank you! Thank you, very much.
BOT: No problem.
M: Go online and give us your feedback, If you don't like it, don't be afraid. Say it: "I don't like this scene because of this," okay? It's very important to us to know. So, really: express yourself, don't be ashamed, don't be afraid of this.
BOT: Thank you so much, M. I really appreciate you sitting down and chatting, and answering all of our community questions.
M: Oh, it was a pleasure, really. Really, it was a real pleasure.
